Wales

I am home. I won’t lie; I'm absolutely dying from exhaustion. My body rebelled for a day and a half of my stay. We had lessons from around 8.30 until around 9 every night. This means I am now big time behind on work. We continued sleeping in our room that stank of multivitamins (I maintain that!) and I believe it would be fair to say that last night we had all had just about enough of everything. Food was edible, but packed full of tomato. On account of being nicely allergic I ate just carbohydrates all week for dinner. It wasn't bad. I know I for one got particularly moody because I couldn't wank for the entirety of the trip, even the showers were a no-no (you had to hold down the button to keep the water running, I need one hand for scratching the itch and one for steadying myself against the wall). We also got decidedly moody once we realized that the field center made a minimum of £7,000 out of our school alone. With the cheap shit called food and the crap accommodation (we even brought our own bedding, therefore no washing for them); it does bring into question how much the tutors are being paid. And why they still insisted on getting us to rent waterproofs when they knew it wasn't going to rain and I kind of felt we'd paid enough. £250 is a lot for 3 nights.

Onwards to the good stuff, of which there was more than there was bad. Most nights were spent on the deck hanging out and chatting. One night, Lexy and I went adventuring. We walked down a pitch black pathway and then up about a million steps. In the pitch black we made out the shapes of a great big hole and some bee hives on legs and a tiny lounger. It looked like an alien landing site. We got a bit scared and left quite fast. I went up the steps during the day too and the big hole? It was a pool. Good thing I didn't fall into that. After making it down the hundreds of steps, we decided to walk down the side of our building and up a really wobbly, wooden ladder up to the roof. The roof did not look safe, not even a little. We decided against sitting up there and instead found another ladder we could climb down onto. There was concrete and then sea. I straight drop actually. We decided on going round a corner, up some steps, over a no entry sign and back out onto the main path. We walked back the way we'd come and turned to look at our building. One of guys who worked there was standing with a torch, pointing it at the place we'd been about 2 minutes earlier. We walked past. I turned to Lexy and said, "Who do you think he was looking for?" Apparently, she thought it was us. We walked towards the shop, feeling we'd got away free.

I pushed the door open to the shop with my foot. There was a small step on the inside of the entrance. I landed in a heap at the bottom of the door. About 10 people I knew turned around and stared. I could not get up because a) I was laughing too hard and b) my foot wedged stuck under the door. Eventually I dragged myself up and we got poppets and went up to the deck for the night. A text was received asking for our location. I sent a jokey reply saying we'd gone skinny dipping and would be back later. When we made our way back to the room we bumped into a few friends who asked how the skinny dipping was. It would seem my humor was not delivered, and everyone now believes Lexy and I to be a couple.

There were uneven steps all over the place and I have a wonderfully clumsy streak. I fell up the stairs every day from the cafeteria. I'm bruised. So bruised. Today whilst about to go walk down those steps I saw the guy who had previously had the torch when we'd been on the roof. He greeted me "hey trouble." I asked what that was meant to mean. He told me not to pretend I didn't know. Apparently we did not get away with anything, but he didn't tell on us.

Last night, I needed a break from people (there was a plan to turn our room into a fort, but it was never executed), so I hung out by myself for a while, then out on the front I broke down the segregation between the schools and made a whole bunch of friends. Somehow conversation led onto casual sex. I was offered se by three different people all of whom I turned down. I was too tired, I knew location would be an issue and we were nearing our curfew of 11 (ridiculous curfew). Either way, they were great and we had some fun. I spent the last part of the night with the people from my room up on the deck and running to and from the shop for more poppets. Mine were stolen (and then paid for).

We also had some most impressive outings to the beach for research. There was lots of climbing, poking things, playing with crabs and accidental limpet killing. I also have some lovely facts for you: barnacles (tiny little grey things that stick to rocks) have the longest penis in the animal kingdom. There is no known maximum, but the average would be the equivalent of a human with a penis the size of Nelson’s Column. If you’re a size matters girl, live your next life as a barnacle. There is also one creature (I forget which one) who keeps it’s penis behind one of its ears, a whale has an actual bone in its penis and one third of a limpet is its ovary.

On one of these outings a rock was found me. It’s a penis rock. I’ve taken it home with me. I promise not to use it; it’s fairly rough and would tear me to pieces. One thing about this place is the cake. There seems to be unlimited amounts of it and today I had 7 slices. It’s good cake. I needed some for the coach journey. The journey home was spent sleeping, lying on Lexy (further fuelling the skinny dipping/couple rumors) and singing/seat dancing to a large variety of songs. It was good fun. Probably not worth £250, but a lot of fun all the same. Even if we did get caught about being on the roof.