Deep Clean

As a favour to a friend, who I haven't actually mentioned on here which is a bit of an insult to him considering how big a part of my life he's been since I met him. I met him at Easter and initially wanted to fuck him, but he has a girlfriend who he loves very much and I decided fucking with genuine happiness was out of order. So we're friends. Just friends. We get on brilliantly and hang out at least once or twice a fortnight. We're gonna call him Gif. It's derived from a private joke which I will not be letting you in on.

Gif is off to university at the end of the week and I said I'd cover two of his shifts so he'd have more time to get himself together (although when I saw him the other day he seemed pretty set on making it a night before deal). About a week after agreeing to do his shift, I turn up at work and my boss says, "oh yeah, you agreed to do Gif's shifts, didn't you?..Well they're deep cleans, so you're staying till midnight, not ten."

Right. Now Gif didn't know about the deep cleans and is genuinely sorry, but cleaning is not really my thing. I can tidy something crazy, but actual cleaning... not so much. Once the store has shut and I've had a tea break (don't want to be over straining myself), I get told to take the cheese off the two bottom shelves and package them neatly. I then put yoghurt's out. While I'm doing the yoghurt, there is a MASSIVE jet spray firing through the entire inside of the chiller. Just shooting though it. And occasionally at my boss. That pretty much made the night worth it for me. You might note, I haven't actually done any cleaning yet. I finish what I'm doing and I'm given a spray and a cloth. I clean two cupboard doors and am told to stop. I get put back on cheese. At least they realised cleaning wasn't for me.

There is one thing about work that has slowly developed. I seem to have become the store agony aunt. I'm not really patient. I don't actually care that much about other people's problems unless they're good friends of mine. Advice isn't really what I do best and more to the point, these people all want relationship advice from someone with no interest in a monogamous relationship.

"I don't know if she likes me"
"I've upset my girlfriend"
"My boyfriend has upset me"
"Girls are too scary to talk to"
"I don't know how to ask anyone out"
"I think I might be bisexual"

The only one I can understand, is the last one. I will however say, I'm not entirely clear on why people seem intent on coming out to me. But they do. All the time. Which again, leads me to believe that I must radiate homosexual vibes and they're just drinking them up.