Meet the Parents

Staying over at Sara's was... an experience.

I headed over there straight after work. Nervous doesn't really cover it. Shitting myself is getting closer. I arrived and her parents were out. We went upstairs and it was, as always, awesome. Even just lying next to her, talking gives me butterflies.

Her parents came home. I was still nervous, so we decided to lie low in her room for a bit longer. We went down using the kittens as a cover. I said hey and asked how she's been. She didn't look at me. She asked Sara's dad a question (he was lovely by the way, so were the siblings). This might not sound so bad, but I'm always acknowledged pretty much immediately. I don't match the wall paper, people always notice me. Her mum didn't talk to Sara either. It was 13 hours before she looked at or spoke to me.

It was like being in a country where being gay is illegal. We weren't allowed to get close anywhere we might be seen, it was not accepted that we were together as a couple. I'm not used to having to be paranoid about being seen or not being trusted. I was put in the spare room and Sara was meant to stay in her room to sleep. She didn't, but she was meant to. Her mum came upstairs in the morning and saw her bed still made, and Sara sneaking out of the spare room with some impressive bed head. Her mum saw her, turned and walked back down stairs. Sara later told me that her mum hadn't been pleased to be officially told that we were back together.

It was harder than I'd expected it to be. I'd do it everyday if it meant I got to see her.

Behind on Blogs

There are a couple of blogs being created, but I'm a bit behind and really need a day off just for blogging.

I went to see Surrey Uni today, it's amazing and it's asking for grades which I'm going to get. Perfection!

Tomorrow I'm working then going straight to Sara's. I'm meeting her mum. I'm a bit nervous. It's the first time in about 4 years. Sara says it'll be fine. I want to believe her.

We're also planning on taking photos (the good kind) and generally wanting to have some fun.

Same Heat, No Burn Victims

Another great afternoon. Actually, it was better. No one was burnt and we weren't interrupted. She left covered in tiny red bite marks all over her torso. Not my fault she bruises like an over-ripened peach.

Burning (and) Desires

Sara came round. We both had lunch and then a free, so we decided to chill out at mine. And for the record chilling out largely involves my thigh between her legs. My teeth leaving red marks all over her hot pale skin.

Pretty much amazing. As things were heating up again, I hear a loud whistle. I jump off the bed (and off Sara), wrap something around me and see my mum standing in the shower half dressed. She'd dropped boiling water on her leg. She stood under the cold shower for an hour, whilst on the phone to my grandma (retired nurse), to make sure she was doing the right thing. I did not make it back to school.

The water didn't even leave a mark.

Lost Cynicism and Disease Ridden

I'm in love.

I don't believe in love. I mock it. I think it's what people in relationships tell themselves to make what they're doing feel worthwhile.

And yet, here I am. Head over heels.

I wont lie: I despised the feeling. I hate anything I can't easily label and safely put away in a box. I like to have complete control; with Love, I have none. I'm growing to like it. It makes me smile, it's got the edge on me.

I called her and we sat in silence while I formulated.

"I don't know much about love, or how it's meant to feel. But if I could choose, it would feel like this."

We chatted a bit, and while we did, I realised that no one can tell you what love is, because it's different for everyone. So when I feel that this is how it should be, then that's how it is.

"I love you."

I smiled when I heard it. Didn't even have to think about it.

"I love you too."

So there you have it, I've been infected with this odd brand of disease. And it's okay.

Homophobic Librarian

First day back at school as a couple. Is it so surprising that we can't keep our hands off each other? I wouldn't say so.

The school librarians are well known for being the most tight lipped bitches of our entire school. They take a huge amount of pleasure in kicking people out and making ridiculous comments. They genuinely think they have power. They are wrong.

There is a constant lack of chairs so I happily share with Sara or Lexy, but Librarian comes by and says, "one bottom per chair." No joke. Eating is not allowed and whenever I get caught, I get kicked out. This was one of those occasions.

Sara came with me and we sat outside the library in the corridor. We're kissing and the librarian walks past. Blissfully unaware of this I keep kissing. There's this odd noise. I look up. The stupid woman was shaking her keys at us as she walked past.

Is that Dewey decimal code for "I'm homophobic"? We laughed, mocked her once she'd gone. Carried on kissing. We weren't even on her 'territory'. We got up to leave for lesson, I lent in and kissed Sara goodbye.

"Right! That's IT!"

We turn around, see an angry, yet ridiculous looking woman: the librarian.

"I told you to stop kissing! And you completely ignored me! NO ONE wants to see you snogging!"

I felt this rage bubble up inside me. I let it out.

"You didn't "tell" us anything! More to the point, why shouldn't we kiss?"

"It's not appropriate."

"Oh really? And why is that?"

"What kind of silly question is that?"

"I don't think it is a silly question, I see nothing wrong with me kissing my GIRLFRIEND, so why don't you tell me?"

"It's at school, no one wants to see it."

"I want to. This is unbelievable. Fucks sake."

I resisted the urge to kiss Sara goodbye before leaving. I know she was furious too.

It wouldn't have bugged me but she'd walked past and glanced at a straight year 12 couple just down the corridor. If you want to enforce something, it should be equality.

Tent Fun

We had 4 tents and 8 people. Sara and I got our own tent.

Right after we put the tent up we had a great make-out session. It was the first time where I could get lost in the moment without listening to chavs screech like hyenas, or friends telling us to quit making out all the time. I got to relax and feel her lips on mine, my fingers running through her newly short strands of hair. Her hands brushed my sides and waist. My tongue skimmed her lips. She dug her fingers into my skin and I moaned softly. My hand tugged on her hair, until she gasped, my other hand running down her back, my legs wrapped around her pulling her closer...

Around one we go to bed, her jeans are soaking, I insist she take them off. She obliges. My mouth skims her knee. Her skin is smooth under my lips. My mouth gently moves up her thigh; her fingers trail through my hair. My tongue playfully teases her skin, she gets hotter and the higher my mouth goes, the more heat I can feel from her skin.

Around 5 I open my eyes, lean over and wake up Sara. I kiss her softly at first. Her lips are smooth and hot, my fingers run over the skin of her shoulders, it's hot to the touch. I pull off her hoodie and tshirt, my t-shirt is pulled over my head. Her hot skin on mine. I slipped into her sleeping bag and my thigh was locked between her legs. I kissed her, she kissed me: harder, rougher, slowly grinding against me. Her soft skin easily brushing against mine, my hand grazing her spine. Her whole body arches and my lips kiss her collar bone. Her legs tighten around mine, I push myself against her, closer, hotter, faster. We keep going until I can't breathe and my whole body spasms. My head spins and she gasps, catching her breath before opening her eyes and looking into mine.

Party Fun

...And there she is. Sara. She smiles, we kiss. It was just so nice to see her again. We walked and kissed and got to JJ's birthday meal. There were *some* cancellations and no-shows, but it was a good meal. We walked to JJ's, picked up a friend on the way, and 3 more people arrived a little while after, bringing the numbers up to 8. Everyone got off with someone. It was a good night, Sara and I didn't drink, but it was good fun.

There was fun of putting up tents in the dark, smashing a glass lamp, followed by drunken denial, leaking tents and many other amusing incidents. A great night.

Milk

Work was exceptionally busy. There was so much back stock to go through. I spent the morning talking to M&B Guy (Milk and Butter Guy). I know the girl he likes and I know what she thinks of him, so I decided to torture him. I never did tell him, I think he should find out by asking her.

Over lunch I read my lesbian magazine with W. He thinks people who are out are brave. I think people who are closeted aren't ready; people who are out were ready.

After lunch I was put on milk. I was kneeling on the floor and one slipped. Suddenly I have 4 pints down me. I have to stand by my flood of milk until someone comes by to get a floor wet sign. For five minutes.

After work I changed and walked downstairs, and out the green metal door...

Uni Visits

Was meant to be getting waxed Friday, but cancelled in order to go to Birmingham. Visited two unis: Birmingham and Aston. Birmingham was a nice place, but it was just abit conventional for me. I'm sure I'd enjoy it once if I went there as a student. I like Aston, the campus is in town and it's abit more rough and worn down. There was a huge variety in the people and I'm sure that Birmingham would be rated a better uni, with a better campus, but I got a really good feel from Aston.

We stopped for coffee on the way back. I adore spending time with my mum. She's glad Sara and I are back and happy.