Heat

It was hot while we were in Cornwall. Really hot. Dry heat too, not even that horrible humid heat. Humid heat is like being suffocated by a sweat soaked pillow. Dry heat makes your throat hurt, but you feel so languid and relaxed that you barely notice. Regardless, heat makes you hot. When I'm hot, I don't like to bother with clothes.

Actually, I just don't like to bother with clothes.

So in order to not get arrested, I compromised and wore dungarees and bras or just my bikini all week. I got a wicked tan. I just felt free. The most amazing thing though. Even in my wetsuit, in Lidl, I barely got strange looks. It was like it was normal. Normal for a girl to walk through a supermarket in a bikini (I did that too).

Coming home was hard. Not only was it back to business as usual for me (I kick started with something just over a 40 hour week at work), but I had to wear whole outfits again. I just don't like wearing clothes once I'm out my local council.

I got slightly red across my face and a tiny bit on my back, but mostly, I went brown. That's so rare for me. And I was lucky enough to not have a pre burn of wave shapes across my back where I'd tried to do my own suncream, missed parts and burnt in the sun. Unlike SOME people.

Driving

As previously mentioned this was a VERY small village that we were staying in and we only had half day surf lessons. You can only kill so much time with eating and watching Big Brother (I take no responsibility in the choice of programme - is that still going?) and I don't like to nap too much. So the title is not referring to get to lidl's and get back again. Oh no, this is how we passed 2 afternoons. We drove round the coast.

Because we could. We stopped at beaches all over. We went to Lizard, we hit Lands End (on realising where we were we very urgently turned around. Whilst screaming), and two places called Treen, amongst others.

There's a lot of beauty to be seen. I never really understood that when I was younger, why you would go and look at landscapes. I still don't in a lot of ways, but there is so much beauty in the world and you have to try and see it all. Otherwise you wont know how to pick your favourites.

This also massively improved my still very poor map reading skills.

Bra

I'm fairly certain I must have mentioned that bras are particularly expensive and rare for me due to low availability in my size, so when while on holiday we stumbled across a lingerie shop who actually had two items in my size, one of which looked incredible. Well I had to buy it. It's a gorgeous black thing with lace trim and tiny blue flowers.

I also got myself a surf school hoodie. I felt that after going there 3 years, I was probably entitled. I got a mens, blue one. I love it. It's nice and bright so I stand out from the crowd when I wear it and I do like to stand out a little.

St Ives

We had our morning lesson and got changed and into the car. After a quick trip to the house, we set off for St. Ives. We knew we needed to get a tram there and we sort of knew where we were meant to be going. The sort of knowing where you go round twice on roundabouts only to go back the way you came. You know before settling on scaring some guy from the Cornish Council by demanding directions.

We made it to the tram (it's a park and ride with a tram instead of a bus. Clever, see?), parked up and waited. The tracks were in front of this huge amount of barren, dried up land. It looked beautiful in a kind of broken way. Once we got into St. Ives Lexy commented that it was busy. I loved it. I love the crowds, the heat, the sweat, everything to see. Lexy does not. She likes peace and quiet. The village that we were staying in was completely dead. The sort of place that's 90% percent tourists in August and thus 90% dead in June. In fact on the second day we were there we walked the whole village in the afternoon. We went into the church and over the marshy fields and back to the surf school. That's pretty much the village.

I was glad of the change of scenery. We hit the charity shops. Lexy found this lace top, just a black lace t-shirt thing with a tight beige top underneath. I tried it on and bought it. I asked for scissors and cut out the top underneath. A nice see through top which I deemed completely appropriate for outdoor wear.

We walked up and down the beach and around the shops for a while before booking a table at a cool looking sea-food restaurant. We settled down on the pier and watched the tide coming in. There were a group of vile, screaming children. The kind where you wish an omnipotent giant thumb would come out of the sky and just squish them.

We moved over to the restaurant and had the most amazing prawns in oil for a starter. It was so simple and SO good. Lexy had seafood linguine for mains and I had mackerel, but the best was dessert. We both had issues picking what to have: Lexy was torn between sticky toffee pudding and creme brulee, I couldn't decide between the cheesecake and the Eton mess. We both, had both.

We both finished both. Try not to judge.

Best meal of my life.

We headed back on the tram and just as we pulled into our station we looked out over the land. It was flooded with water. Amazing what the tide can do.

Surfing

So after driving down and getting to our great little home at about 12.30 and deciding to do some unpacking until around 2am, we went to bed. At 8 we got up and poked around a bit. We had breakfast stuff, so we had a fry up because substance is key. I jumped into my wetsuit (I slipped in very easily because I lost too much weight over the winter) and showed Lexy how awesome we were gonna look for the week. I won't lie, I think there's something sexy about having nothing left to the imagination and yet being completely covered.

Anyway, we drove to the surf school (it's like a 15 minute walk, but to be honest, after a lesson you're too tired for a 15 minute walk without food) and Lexy got a suit. I chatted to our instructor and once we were set to go we got in the water. I've been several time before and was on the easiest board so I was up first time. Lexy was a first timer and so she wasn't up quite so fast, but she really enjoyed it.

Because we went in June, we had a couple of lessons with just us and the instructor and none of the other lessons had more than 6 people. It makes it lots easier to flirt with your instructor if you're not competing for his attention. *cough* Flirting with both your instructors if you're not competing for their attention. Talk about getting your money's worth. By the end of the week we're out the back riding unbroken waves and I gotta say, I was having the time of my life. Even when I slipped off my board, hooked my legs over the edge and thrashed about like a whisk in jelly. Moreso when Lexy mocked my thrashing and slipped off her board and thrashed with equal power.

Overall the actual surfing was incredible and I cannot wait to go and completely exhaust myself again.

Journey

So I've just spent 9 hours working and Lexy is yet to turn up. I've bought energy drinks. I'm sat waiting. It would seem I've been stood up for our holiday.


The phone rings. Shes late. She picks me up from home instead. We set off.

We listened to the playlist which I've put together over the last 8 months. It fitted very nicely and featured songs such as "[My Vagina is] 8 miles [wide]," "Blister in the Sun" and lots and lots of Mika. Now I can't vouch for anyone else, but the closer we got to the coast, the more it seemed like the places were named in Wales. Seriously. The amount of places that were essentially just innuendos that people lived in was unbelievable.

***

Journey home was long. There were queues and events from the previous night left me tired and dreamy. It was one hell of a holiday.

Anger

While I was in Cornwall I felt free. At the time I couldn't tell you what made me feel like the world was better. Brighter. But it was.

I felt like I was myself, like I was honest with myself and I had one bad night and it was still ok. Like it was ok to be myself. Like I could be who I wanted. Who I am.

It took one day back at home before I realised what it was. They didn't question my references to my Ex-girlfriend, or any of the guys I've had fun with. They didn't ask why I didn't bother getting properly dressed or why I never felt self-conscious getting the car keys back whilst soaking wet and wearing just my bikini. No one gave me looks for having short hair or having fun. I wasn't judged for anything. Strangers didn't judge me.

Today while I was walking home from work a car passed by. Heavy bass music pounding from the windows and a 16 year old guy hanging out the window getting his fill of the one arm tan.

"DYKE!"

I felt my blood burn in my veins. My anger flared up and I wanted nothing more than to scream. I ignored it. Kept walking, didn't even look his way. The flames of my blood licked my thoughts and made me want to burn him. I wanted to see fear in his eyes. I concentrated on my feet pounding on the pavement. The heat started to pass.

We currently have temporary traffic lights set up and just around the time that the roar of heat in my ears had passed I realised that the boy with the one armed tan and his car had been stopped. I knew what I had to do. I had to rise above it. Pretend I'd heard nothing. Keep walking. Concentrate on the steps.

"LESBO!"

I didn't skip a beat. I didn't stop to contemplate. I turned walking, lent above him, my hand on the car.

"What the FUCK is your problem? Is there some sort of reason you feel that you should be incorrectly reminding me of my sexuality? Do you have some kind of issue with who I'm attracted to? Because, for the record, it is none of your Goddamn business and more to the point, it is natural and normal, far more so than your inability to accept that some. People. Are. Different. You are disgusting. You need to open your eyes and see that there's a hell of a lot more to the world than this little town and your narrow minded views. So please, enlighten me: What's the problem?...*Silence on his part*... The light's green."

My words whipped him and I saw the fear in his eyes. I wanted to choke him. I wanted to tell him that people like him deserve to die because it's his words that steal months and years. I walked away the hot rage running all over me inside and out. The car had long passed and I'd almost made it home when the burning hit my eyes and the hot tears cooled my cheeks. As Taylor Mali said, Depression too is a kind of fire.

Cornwall

Oh my. What a week. I contemplated doing one huge post but I'd much rather do lots of little posts all in relation to the last week. They should be appearing over the next week, although I have quite a busy week ahead. So far 11 posts have been planned.

Brackets (sets of)

Ok, so blogging lately has been one or two steps too near atrocious. I have started about 10 billion posts about the last day, seeing as I did promise it. What I've discovered is past the fact that I was in a foul mood due to having to get up early (it was my first day of having to get up past midday since finishing my exams, so yes actually 10.30 was early) and that there were cameras (those who have seen photos will have noticed that I was not particularly cooperative, but if you know me, you should expect that of me anyway). There were pesky teachers and speedos and large cocks. Frankly this is as far as the post on the last day will go. Those of you who wanted an eloborate tale filled with excitement and so on, well, tough tits.

Now the reason is has taken me so long to write that pararaph is because since the last day (just under two weeks ago), I've worked almost 90 hours at Waitrose. Within that I found time for a tiny little bit of flirting with the entirety branch given that they're under 35. Although I am very bad at judging ages so it could have been considerably higher or lower. I also hung out with JJ and J, and met a guy for coffee (as friends, he's very taken and I was good as gold. Promise).

Also celebrated my birthday with family. Seriously, if it wasn't because the younger siblings got two birthdays due to having two houses (complex family situation), the would be livid because I got presents in December (which is when I was born) and I got presents now too (in June which is when my birthday is - the 23rd but we celebrated early so I could get my hands on a waterproof camera before I go on holiday). It was a good day and somehow (and I really don't know how) there's still cake left.

Speaking of holiday, this is when I go away with Lexy in around 46 hours to Cornwall. 14 of which will be spent at Waitrose, say 16 sleeping and probably around 6 hours for showers, dressing and eating (I eat a lot of the time. And shower for more). That leaves 10 hours in which to pack. In theory that's more than enough. If it wasn't because I'm more or less guaranteed to spend about 9 and 3 quarters bumming around on msn, blogger and iplayer.

So that's 15 minutes in which to pack. Cool.

Tricks

She ran the tip of her tongue over her lip playfully. Her green eyes glinted and her mouth twitched into a smile.

“Appreciated, but I’m sure I could provide more enjoyable things to run your tongue across.”
He watched her lips part as his words sunk in. She looked at him. There was a question in her eyes. She stretched her body up and her hot, wet tongue drew smoothly across his lips. His mouth followed hers as she pulled back. Her finger stopped him, softly pressing against his lips. His eyes were glazed with lust and she let her hand trail over his knee. He watched her as she dragged her tongue over his neck.

Her hot touch made his skin feel like it was on fire. He exhaled slowly, his eyes shut. All he could think about was her breath on him. Her fingers toyed with his t-shirt and his eyes snapped open. Her tongue trailed from his hip up towards his naval. She looked up, her eyes following his as her tongue snaked over his hot skin. He was salty against her tongue.
Her mouth left his stomach, but she held his gaze. She undid his buckle. His voice was thick with desire.

"Does that tongue of yours know any other tricks?"

She dropped her eyes and smiled to herself.