Neutrogena Wave Vibrator

16th August – 21:21 Here I am again. People watching in the café, if nothing else it passes the time. I got the Neutrogena Wave; I coughed up £12.87 which isn’t bad for high street sex toy. I decided I’d better give it a fair test, and so, before anything I tried the little fucker anywhere else. It did absolutely nothing, which proves nothing except that they know nothing about multi-tasking products and it really is designed for something else. Let me paint you a picture: palm sized smooth white object. It takes one AA battery (included) and has a pink grip for “easy precision” and a simple on/off button. The instructions mention that it is waterproof (recommends shower use) and it comes with a 2 year guarantee. When you hit the on switch you get some strong vibrations coming through the flat base. The base has some small hooks on (to grip the little soapy pads), but they’re so small that on your skin they just hold it in place. It has strong vibrations and I would definitely recommend it, particularly for beginners. Unless you follow the example of Samantha of Sex and the City (and use an electric back massager) I would find it hard to get a more innocent looking sex toy. Apart from maybe using those electric toothbrush covers (yes, really).

In other news: my arms feel like jelly from all the body boarding we’ve been doing (I legs like thunder, arms like toothpicks – they look useless and mostly, they are), but I’ve been eating plenty of shit to make up for it. I’m also buzzing on caffeine and I’m still fairly fresh from a nap I had earlier. Have been getting some work done, but our schedule is fairly non-stop and without internet I can’t do half it. And a note to all of you, hard sand covered nipples hurt a lot. I’m testing for solutions.

Finally, due to Thin Walls Syndrome (TWS), I’m hornier than ever. I will use this in a positive way. First up it means excess energy I can use in the water, but more importantly it means erotica.

You glance at me across the room. We both know what that look means: I want you. You eyes shimmer and your hand moves to your drink. You shut your eyes for a moment and when you open them again I’m standing in front of you. Your eyes drag greedily up my body, from my legs to my smile. Your hand slips up the back of my thigh as you pull me closer to you. Slowly, I raise one eyebrow at you and I pull you away by the hand. We walk into the cool night air, away from the crowds into the silence. The music is only a dull thud of base now. My grip tightens. I push you into the wall and just look at your face for a moment. Shocks run through your body when my lips touch yours and I can taste the bitter flavour of alcohol on your tongue. You pull back for a moment, your forehead resting on mine, panting. You look into my eyes; a glint appears in yours. In one swift move you slam me against the wall, your weight pushing into me: I become your victim. You kiss me, hard. You force your weight on me, I can hardly breathe. My head spins; it feels good. You’ve grabbed my hands and pinned them above your head, I struggle against you as you steal kisses from my lips. My tongue playfully find yours and they twist, feeling every inch of texture against each other. Your other hand easily undoes my jeans and you slide your finger inside me, pulling out only to cover my clit in my own hot cum. My soft moans break the silence. Instinctively I push my body against yours and as you free my arms, one runs along your back pulling you closer, the other grabbing the roots of your hair and pulling your head back. You look at me, and as your thumb brushes my clit, my face softens into a moan and my grip loosens. You kiss me in the dark of night.