NMM

I am giving you a few days warning. National Masturbation Month is May. I know this means it ends in 2 days and a few hours. I was not aware until then. I'm sorry for the short notice, but I've got some serious catching up to do. Maybe I'll have my own masturbation month in June. Yes, I will. Feel free to join me. I only bite a little.

procrastination

I'm awake. I have been since just gone 9. This seemed like a great idea.

(I was actually woken up by SOMEONE who, despite knowing I sleep at such an hour, texted me.)

I decided to do some homework. It's now been 3 hours. I have done nothing. I think I deserve a round of applause. Kiss my ring. Make it sexy.

Fun

So I had fun.

Stayed over at Sara's lasts night. Amongst other things we got pulled over by the police, drove with an open door and I ate a trough of popcorn and drank a bucket of pepsi on my own.

I also put Sara through the kind of pain that kept her up far later than normal, with moaning that I’m pretty sure was riding that barrier between pain and pleasure. Her lip is bruised, her back was raw-red covered in scratch and bite marks. She’s lucky I was too distracted to grab my whip. She’s lucky she tastes so damn good; I couldn’t keep my tongue off her. Very lucky.

Judging by the amount of time her mouth spent on my skin, I don’t taste half bad either. How bad do you want to run your tongue across my skin now?

Neurotic Organisation

I have now planned what I'm wearing, bringing and how I'm getting to pride this summer.

If you're wondering, and I'm sure you are, I'm wearing black hotpants, a black low cut top and being covered in rainbow coloured hand-prints. I'm also sharpie-ing the freshly shaven bit of my hair. And maybe my fringe. It's only pride once a year. Until my local pride about a month later when I get to do it all again! I've planned the costumes for everyone I'm dragging along to be rainbow themed. So far Sara is getting rainbow kisses on her neck and James has a rainbow on his chest (he's also wearing army boots, trousers and a beret), but once i'm done it'll look like the rainbows had a pukefest all over them. Lexy doesn't know this yet, but she's also gonna be coated. Sorry. *Big evil grin spreads across my lips.* I wish it didn't have to be like that.

I have the journey planned to the minute. Of course.

There is a reason I'm so organised. If I plan ahead, I get more done and it gets done faster. In the long run that means I have more time to spend with whoever or whatever I want. Toys are often my first priority. Sorry Sara. *Dreamy look as I lick my lips.*

Bite Me

A friend just told me, based purely on my picture that I must "give wonderous head."

This is a compliment.

I don't feel it's completely undeserved. The first guy I blew would not stop complimenting me for almost a year.

However, the compliment was based on the fact that the picture "screamed blowjob."

I would be interested to know, do people generally think my mouth looks like good head?
Please comment, I'm curious.

BNP and Catholic Loop Holes

So I didn't spend £75. I did spend £74. But in my defence £7 was a cute, mini dress.

All in all a very good day.

Sara told me about something that physically disgusts me. I'm not a fan of the BNP at all, my dislike is almost as strong for them as it is for the Catholic extremists (homosexuality is sin, no sex without marriage, no contraception, no masturbation, etc. I'm gonna burn in their hell for all eternity. With all the other people who like kinky things, contraceptive, same sex-screwing, drugs, and getting themselves off. How was bunging us all together a good idea? Drug-induced orgy, anyone? Plus if at the last minute I decide that a life of multiple orgasms, G-spot stimulation, kink and anal, oral and vanilla sex in every position there is, isn't for me, I'll repent.)

Back to the issue at hand, the BNP have started a hitler-esque youth movement and here is her rant:

A little rant?
The BN-freaking-P. You want to know what they've done? They've started a "Young BNP"
They run camps, which have coined the rather appropriate term "gun camps" by the media, where young people are taught fighting skills like knife wielding and shooting, as well as indoctrinated with BNP propaganda. These camps are for 13 to 18 year olds, yet on their website, a 12 year old girl is singled out for her exceptional performance with a rifle.
Honest to god they make me sick.
Last time some nutcase had this sort of an idea we ended up with millions of slaughtered civilians, and 4 million brain-washed young thugs brandishing knives engraved with "Blood and Honour". You don't have to be a genius to have taken GCSE History and made the bloody link.
Alarm bells anyone???
The biggest problem with all this is that the BNP are a group of stuck up tw*ts. To put it bluntly. They are anti-"anyone-who-doesn't-look-behave-or-dress-like-me". And well, I'd say that encompasses most people who aren't white, middle to upper class, racist and homophobic. Oh, and English. If you're not English, go home.
Apparently.

• Allow me to introduce you to some of their more interesting policies.
  Muslim No-Fly Policy. This stops any Muslim using air travel to either enter or leave the UK. So basically, they can't use planes. It's simple really. They're terrorists, the lot of them.
• Another little gem of racism from a BNP member who inadvertantly told a Sky News reporter "the black kids are going to grow up dysfunctional, low IQ, low achievers that drain our welfare benefits and the prison system and probably go and mug you." The word "lots" does not enough attempt to cover how much this man deserves to die. He was questioned over what he said, and he replied: "If I thought I was going to be recorded ... I would not have used such intemperate language, but let’s be honest about it, the facts are there". You WHAT now?? The facts are WHERE exactly???
• Anti-Semitism. Because bastards like Hitler can clearly goddamn multiply. The BNP have gone so far to even call the Holocaust, the Holohoax. Now, I'm sorry, but I think about 6 million brutally murdered men, women and children would have to disagree with you there. What did you think? That Auschwitz was for fucking show??
• According to the BNP, all homosexuals are (wait for it) "AIDs monkeys". Yes, somebody, somewhere, ACTUALLY said that and meant it. Not only this, they say they are particularly concerned about the level of acceptance that homosexuals receive in school, and that homosexuality should "return to the closet where it belongs". They also support its re-criminalisation. That is to say, that an act of love and affection between two consenting adults should be illegal and punishable by law.

Getting a little edgy? Good, not just me then.
Anyone for a killing spree?

Hey, at least they're not narrow minded. Oh wait...

Wonders of Pricey Support

My Grandma is here. I absolutely adore my Grandma. It's my christmas present that she came to visit (we're also going to a hotel - I'm bringing the lappie, but due to a snapped charger and a potential non-availability of internet, blogging may be infrequent at best), and my other present is that I get a week with her in the autumn. I'm a foreigner, so she lives abroad, It's a slightly bigger deal when there's flying involved.

Today we're going to Oxford, and in Oxford there is a Bravissimo. Due to being a peculiar size, I have to get bras at such places. As I've mentioned, I love smalls. Bras are my favourite but they're expensive. All the same, as with dildos, I love to look. That can't hurt, right?

When I get back having spent £75 on undies... Then I was wrong.

Mockability and Dildos etc.

On account of having visited Bedroompleasures rather alot recently it has come up as one of my most visited sites when I open a new tab. This is isn't a problem. I happily opened a new tab and started typing into the adress bar. I feel eyes burning into back. The mother is standing behind me, gaping at the screen. The picture of various toys is standing out. The pink header of "sex toys, vibrators and dildos" shines out. I glance at the screen, shut the tab and use my google button instead.

On explaining this to James he then asked why I had been using the site after all, I'd bought my toys. Allow me to explain: I like to shop. Some girls look at shoes and dresses, some at arts and books. I look at dildos.

It's really very simple.

Since I have decided to get a "fuck-off" haircut, my attitude has become a little more... Controlling. Insane. Angry. Immoral. You see where I'm going: Tyrant.
Point is, I told Sara she was no longer allowed to mock things (the girl mocked me, she brought it on herself). She did not take me seriously and long story short I threatened to send a box of sex toys to her mum with a note saying "Property of Sara." That oughta do it.

She was kinda mad. Threatened to haunt me. Told her not to waste her eternity like that. After some grovelling she got her right to mock back. Her reply?

"MOCK*MOCK*MOCK*...Mwahaha."

Oh dear.

Good Morning Decisions

I need to leave for school, but first I will blog. I'm very horny (I'lll wear something to sort that out), and I want to get a haircut. I'm thinking supershort, asymmetrical and partly shaved. First things first. Education.

An After Thought

Forgot to mention, I had a drink with aforementioned German assistant. Dont' judge me, I was hungry. I can hear you judging. Stop it! It was free cake, what was I meant to do?