the 100th Blog (Be Afraid)

I don't think I have the time to think up one giant list of 100 things. Instead I'll give you 3 lists of 20, 3 of 10 and two of 5. Just because.

20 Funny Diary Quotes
1. "Why don't you give 80-year olds smear tests?
...Have you ever tried opening a cheese toastie?"
2. "I love doing oral... I'm just not very good at it."
3. *Whispering under breath
"are you bitching about me?"
"why would you suggest that?"
"Miss! She's bitching about me!"
*Teacher comes over
"What did I say then?"
"Well, I don't know..."
"So how do you know I was being bitchy? How do you know it was about you? How do you know I haven't gone mad and started talking to myself?"
*Teacher smiles and walks away
"Of course it was about you, you fat slag."
"MISS!"
"What?"
"She...she..."
"I didn't do anything, but that was footwork."
4. "'Ooh, eurgh, beurgh! It's french."
5. [written on arm] "I am Smbx if found... EAT ME!"
6. "He's going grey.... Should I tell him?"
7. "Humans bond when they kiss, but that doesn't mean the kiss is good... Don't give away your kisses!"
8. "Playing on his xbox or just his joystick?"
9. "You can't go out with him; I'll be the girl who cuts off his balls, fries them and serves them to him as breakfast before he realises they're gone."
"And I'll provide the scissors!"
10. "You know he said to me, 'when we go out I wont ever pressure you for sex. But when we do, whose house?' I avoided the question and he asked, ' whose condoms?'"
11. "I didn't bite. I cut them off, fried them and sold them for a quid."
12. "Why couldn't you have broken something cheaper.. Like the cooker or the washing machine..."
13. "You've got this 'I'm so lovely and innocent on the outside, but so damn nasty on the inside' down to an art."
14. "It's like the stick up your ass has a stick up it's ass."
15. "Short, gay and a pain in the ass. At leat if you spend the night with him..."
16. "Where are your shoes?"
"I have a note"
*long pause of intensive staring at the offending shoes*
"Would you like to see it?"
"No."
17. "I'm two seats away, I'm not blind!"
18. "So I'm going to write an angry letter."
"Proposal."
"Right, angry proposal letter."
19. "There are worse things than being a housewife... You could be ginger."
20. "Of course you're disgusted, I would be too if I had a cock as small as yours!"

Top 20 Reasons to Blog
1. You get to vent your opinion
2. People can't judge you if you're anonomous
3. It's good for you
4. You'll learn about other people's lives (and how very mundane they are)
5. You'll learn about other people's lives (and all the sex you didn't know they were having)
6. It's great for procrastinating
7. Having people follow you is an ego trip
8. Having people comment on your blogs is an ego trip
9. You get to make lists that other people read
10. You get to read about people who are just like you
11. You get to read about people who are nothing like you
12. You can find an idol
13. You can brag about the things (and the people) you do and noone can judge you - they chose to read it
14. You can start a trend amongst people you know
15. You can keep track of your life at a certain time and read it back later.
16. You can share things with strangers
17. You're making a contribution to society (sort of)
18. It will reduce real life whinging
19. You'll get to celebrate things like your first follower, and your 100th blog
20. You'd be lame if you didn't

20 Reasons to Fuck
1. Orgasm. Multiple orgasm. The kind where you pass out abit
2. Stress relief through lower blood sugar and muscle relaxation
3. Experience. For those times when you want to say, "What about the time we..."
4. It boosts your immunity. Those who have more sex are less likely to get the common cold.
5. It burns calories. 35 for a good half-hour.
6. It improves your image call-back. Another way of putting this is that you get flashbacks.
7. It reduces your chances of having a heart attack by up to 50% if you have regular sex.
8. It boosts your self-esteem. Having someone worship your body until they cum, how could it not?
9. Gives you a good night sleep. Or no sleep at all.
10. It lowers your pain thresh-hold. Better get rougher.
11. If you're a guy and you frequently cum during your 20s you can reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life.
12. It's damn good fun.
13. Girls can strengthen their keegel muscles which can intensify orgasm and has health benefits later in life.
14. Sex clears your skin and makes your hair shiny if you're a girl
15. Sex releases endorphin which is a chemical that makes you happy (also found in chocolate). Sex also functions as a tranquiliser and is up to 10 times more effective than valium.
16. Have sex and you'll smell like sex and be offered more sex. What a wonderful cycle.
17. Kissing leads to better oral hygiene (Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up).
18. Sex can release headaches through releasing tension on the blood vessels in the brain.
19. Sex is a natural antihistamine. Screw more, have less asthma and hayfever.
20. Orgasm. Multiple orgasm. The kind where you pass out abit

10 Great Places to Fuck
1. Bed. I know it's not adventerous, but if the other half is screaming in pain it's best to be in private. Alternatively, someone else's.
2. An adult nude beach/colony or live sex show. You gotta try it.
3. A pool. Jacuzzi will do. Stick to clean water.
4. Sex swing. Be acrobatic.
5. Public toilet. Forget the germs, forget the smell and make more noise than anyone has ever done.
6. Any field. Don't be picky.
7. Dirty weekend away. Nothing like booking in under Miss and Miss Smith.
8. Tiled floor. Cool, slippy (careful in the shower though)
9. Airline toilets. It had to be here (and it's one of the most efficient ways of burning calories through sex)
10. Whatever place you need for your ultimate fantasy. Everyone is different.


10 Great Positions to Screw In (for straight couples I'm afraid)
1. Doggie. Great friction and guys go crazy if they get to ride you and hold on to your ass. Plus you don't have to look interested.
2. Cowgirl. You're in control, you decide how fast or slow and you can push him on all te best spots.
3. Reverse Cowgirl. As above but his cock rubs you harder inside and you don't have to look interested.
4. Anal. The best one for beginners is said to be missionary but girl on her front. Least painful and easiest to control.
5. Missionary. It's intimate and if he's big enough it feels damn good.
6. One Leg Over. As in one of yours over his shoulder. the angle change feels so good.
7. Both Legs Over. As above. You loose all control. Let him hit your g-spot without trying.
8. On a Table. You sit, he stands. Nothing quite like it.
9. Standing. Definately one of my all time favourites. He stands, you slide onto his cock and you wrap your legs and arms around his hot, sweating body.
10. Any kind of foreplay. I know it's not technically sex, but it's damn important and I do love foreplay.

10 Great Stress Releases (which I have done)
1. Sex
2. Telling a stranger with a cigarette that smoking kills
3. Masturbation
4. Running towards 50 screaming kids with rubber tubing as a defence
5. Tetris
6. Showing someone who offended you up
7. Waterfight
8. Screaming at the top of your lungs for no real reason.
9. Telling members of staff that they're being ridiculous
10. Dancing around naked. Or wearing saucy underwear. Listening to really loud music.


5 Must have Toys
1. A small, strong for clit and gentle fucking. For your travels
2. A nice vibe. Whether you like girth or length or both, the perfect dildo will be out there.
3. G-spot vibe. It's amazing what that little pod of pleasure can do when properly stimulated
4. The Rabbit. Although not by any means my favourite, it's worth a try because most that use it love it.
5. Thai beads. Something so simple that makes your orgasm so explosive.

5 Short Erotic Scenarios
To Follow Shortly

Triple Digits

My next blog will be my 100th blog. I should do something spectacular and extravagant.

What should I do?

P.S. I also want my bedroom partners to hit triple digits in my life-time. Not slutty, ambitious.

A Quick Note of Great Importance

Through endless (and to some extent pointless) searching of the web I came across this.

I'm very excited that some of the best sex blogs are going to be collected in one place. I look forward to it very much. I believe this will become a list of inspiration (and you all know, recently I've been in need of it a little).

Just an Average Day at Work

I am most pleased. Freya has been transferred. Today I was essentially in charge although the Boss was there and downstairs (supervisor was in the kitchen), we all bullied him needlessly. Oh what larks!

It did end with him taking a piece of cake and smearing it all over my face. I wiped the icing onto my hand and off on his shirt.
"What did you do that for?!"
"Can't you handle a little competition..?"
If looks could kill.

(If looks could kill, I'd only be injured. He's nowhere near as good as me.)

He also:

• Kicked me
• Threw cake boxes at me
• Covered my face in milk
• Sprayed me with disinfectant
• Refused to give me lunch (I got lunch anyway)
• Verbally abused me
• And much, much more

Not one of those things were uncalled for or without reciprocation. I love my job.

Paraphrasing

I kept a diary for several years (like writing everyday) and I would record amusing things people said. I figured I could share a few with you.

"The only thing worse than spending another second in your comany would be watching a 5 hour documentary on the life-cycle of the common mushroom."

"I am not sitting with no clothes on. I am standing, walking and dancing!"

"You're really freaking X out."
"What have I done now?"
"She thinks you're a lesbian."
"Even if i was a lesbian, I would never go out with X."
*She starts laughing hysterically*
"Why are you laughing? I wouldn't date you either."

"I'm so horny, I'd have anyone. Not you."

"Three's company"
"Don't you mean a crowd?"
"Depends who the other girl is."

"Hello my lesbian dyke friend."
"Lesbian dyke? Maybe. Friend? Not a fucking chance in hell."

"You can laugh you know, it doesn't cost anything."
"I would, but you're not funny."

"(To me) ok, try to imagine that you're a person. With feelings."

"Oh no, don't worry Miss, I've just got cum in my eye."

"It's never long enough"

"Satan loves you xxx So do I xxx"

"They all started singing the wombles song and he looked so happy. By which I mean thoroughly miserable."

"You're a terrible influence!"
"I'm a tempting influence, you just can't resist!"

"I see your point... Can I see your point?"

"You're not good looking and I don't think you're funny."

"I never made a move on you because I like a challenge and you're just too easy."

"...Because we have this thing called an "ego-clash." It's where I use your easily bruised ego to inflate mine a little more."

"Once you're dead, you're wormfoood"

"I'm trying to have a conversation with you, so tell your girlfriend to get her tongue out your ass and listen up."

"No, it really is because I don't like you."

"Don't ask me what I'm thinking, I'm driven entirely by sexual and erotic thoughts."

"That hot, throbbing between your legs? It's chlamydia."

"You could fit a giant penguin over there... That would be weird though"

"Don't ever tell her that, it would kill her. I might tell her"

"I'll save the polo until after I've done the banana."

"Have you ever tried swinging from a chandelier? Don't, it doesn't work, you just fall off."

Ignorance At Its Best

In the last few days chavs have been doing what they do best.

Example #1

I walk out my front door. Kids are walking to school. Chavvy kids shout "LESBO!" When I say chavvy kids, I mean year 8. That makes them around 12 years old. I give them a death stare and cock my head. I'm terrifying, ask anyone.

"BISEXUAL!"

"...What?"

Example #2

I walk down the hill to go home from school.

"Are you a lesbian?" "Lez" "LESBO-O!"

I turn, "Actually I'm bisexual."

*silence*
"LESBO-O!"

Example #3

The sun is shining, Lexy is wearing a short dress that rides up so I sit on her back to stop it. Two chav girls walk by gawping.

"Can I help you?"
"What? It's not everyday you see a girl straddling another girl? (quietly) fucking dykes..."
"Sure, and it's not everyday you see a girl with as big an ass as yours." *Sugar sweet smile*
Chav walks away, shielding her ass with her hand and blushing.

Example #4

Sara and I have been walking the dog. About 3 minutes from my house a chav cycles up to us.
"Are you two a couple?"
"No, we just make out for reaction."
*Confused look crosses his face*
"Yes, we're a couple."
"Oh. Ok. Does your mum know?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't she?"
"And she's ok with that?"
"Yeah."
*Confused look crosses his face*
"Oh. Ok."

Example #5

I walk past a group of smoking chavs. One stares at me.

"Are you a lesbian?"
"No, I'm bisexual."
"What's the difference?"
"Seriously? I like guys and girls. Lesbians only like girls."
"Is that real?"

A Foot Note
It worries me deeply that people don't know the difference. How can people be this ignorant?
More to the point, if I'm harsh it's because I'm asked about 30 times a day. And because I don't care. Your feelings do not matter to me.

I'm not even sorry.

A Variety

Guess who's here. My mocks are over (ie a reasonable workload), it's a friday night and she's falling asleep. It's SBH. (For those of you that dont keep up, that's Sara.)

pizza!

MMM pizza...

What a valuable contribution.
She's going on about her crazy ginger horse.

HE'S NOT A CRAZY GINGER HORSE! HOW DARE YOU! NEVER INSULT MY HORSE.

Tomato, tomahto. Picky, picky.

ooh pretty flowers...

Allow me to explain. We went walking, had fun in the bushes. You understand. We also were harrassed by chavs. Yes my mother knows, no, she didn't disown me. Is it that so tricky?

A Uni Trip

Yesterday was another trip to a uni. As usual the day was badly planned and badly executed. On the upside there was a coach journey. A coach. That seats 56. For 10 students. Nice.

Matter at hand (more literally than anything else), the coach journey. I sat next to Sara. I left my hand on her thigh. I plotted. I stroked her thigh really gently, going up and down her jean-leg. Just trailing my fingers along the inseam. Each time I went just a little bit more up. You know where I was going. Slowly I worked my way all the way up her leg. Absentmindedly I played with her zip. Ran my finger down her seam. Caught her eye as her head whipped round. kept going until she complained she'd arrive in a state. She's much more fun when she's in a state.

The way back... Oh wow.

I napped.

Something For You

My hot skin, brushes against you. Your fingertips feel rough against the skin on my neck. I look into your eyes. I see that sparkle. That hot shimmer that stays for less than a second, but tells me everything I need to know. It gives me images.

Your hot sweating body grinding against me. My lips kiss you, you taste hot and salty. Your fingers run down and touch me so my back arches. I gasp for breath. I watch your face. My finger trails across your shoulder and you smile just enough for me to notice.

I lean in and whisper exactly what you want to hear. I watch your face change as each word escapes my mouth. There's a look of disbelief playing on your face. You catch my eye. You know I mean it.

We walk away.

Take Some Advice

I am so horny. The thing is, I'm like a muscle. The more you get or use, the more you want.

I just can't stop myself.

My hands all over my soft skin, moist with sweat. Begging for touch. Go on. Touch me

Time Well Spent

I am exhausted. My toys arrived and I have been playing all afternoon.

My hot sweating body writhing, as I gasp for air. Loudly, I'm groaning, my hand working away. The rest of my body shaking, tiny spasms. Wet, all slipping.

I still can't think straight. What an afternoon.

It is how it is

I have not blogged since Thursday. That's 2 days without blogs. I've been busy.

Friday: My family moved my birthday because it was more convinient. To be fair, my birthday isn't real anyway. It's a long story.

Anyway, I got presents (mostly bras!), a couple of books I ordered about lesbians arrived (one about nuns, the other sex stories), and my box of toys arrived at Lexy's. In the evening my family took me out to Cosmo. Yum.

Saturday I went shopping and spent money that I do not have on tops and underwear. Man, I love smalls.

Today was work. Same old, same old.

Streakers

I'm wearing her belt.

At one point I had also stripped her of her watch and shoes and a jacket button. And abit of her dignity.

She was very objective to naked time in the library (we really use our facilities).

Me undressing her at every occasion is a side effect of not having tetris. She's very uncoorperative, especially considering how much she wanted me to stop playing tetris.

I don't think I'm asking that much. I would say she was borderline prudish, but apparantly most people don't enjoy getting naked in public places. I don't believe you should judge until you have tried it.

Note that.

The Battle Has Been Lost

I lost tetris. Level 58 and over 12 hours of the game behind me. I forgot to pause. It went from one line to the top in less than seconds. I'm still in shock.

On the upside I might get some work done, post some decent blogs and it unlocked a new level of the game. I will keep playing to a minimum until my mocks are over. I'm sure Sara will appreciate having me back to normal, rid of the curse of Tetris. For now.


Right now I have a German mock to prepare for. Oh the joy.

Bad Day

I hurt.

My shoulder is sore. Lexy thinks I pulled a muscle. I am a little sunburnt. I do not understand, I was in a dark library all day. Canada still has my only sad lesbo DVD. I need it to cry. I've been playing tetris for 11 hours and am on level 55. I missed my nap and am very tired. I will have to sleep soon. This is unheard of.

Summary

After one hour of education today I went home and had a nap. Then I ate out with friends and aquaintances. This lead to caffeine. I'm bouncing off my ceiling.

(the walls just weren't fun enough.)

I know how I can use all this energy. If you know me, you'l know too.

Tetris Score: Almost 10 hours and level 50

The Strangest Comfort Food

On days when i need a little TLC I find a packet of TUCs and a tub of Lurpak, sit on my bed, listen to chill out music and "spread-and-crunch."

This is one of those times. It's not the same as usual though for two reasons:

1. My mum has decided Lurpak is too unhealthy and started buying Bertolli. After deciding that this was too yellow, she bought Countrylife. It doesnt taste right.
2. My TUCs look like this. It makes it really hard to butter them.

I apologize for the all the uncalled for links. This is a subject very close to my heart you see.

Unforeseen Circumstances

Due to a severe tetris addiction* all other ativities have diminished severely.

*I'm on level 46 and the game has gone on for 8 hours.

This is worrying as I have mocks starting week on monday. Even if it wasn't for the piles of homework obstructing my revision, tetris is going to ruin me.

Anyone know a tetris addiction helpline?

Baby, I'm Back

There has been a certain lack of sex in my blog recently, so I'm going to get back into the swing of things.

Grabbing hold of her shirt, Roxie slammed Mika up against the door. She looked into Mika intense blue eyes. They sparkled with fear and anticipation.

“Don’t ever say that.” Roxie’s soft words pierced through all her other thoughts, like a bullet to her brain, she felt her hot breath on her ear. Mika looked at the beautiful girl standing so close to her, with her fury radiating out like heat.

Mika never got a chance to say anything. Roxie’s mouth stole hot, angry kisses from her lips. Fingers wrapped around the short strands of her hair. Roxie pulled hard. Mika’s head snapped back and her eyes sprung open. Roxie sneered at her for a second before pushing her mouth against her lips. The energy between them was passionate, yet with so much resentment. Roxie bit down hard on Mika’s lip, pushed her tongue into her mouth. Mika relaxed into the kiss and her hands trailed up Roxie’s hips.

Grasping Mika’s hands, she pushed her body hard into her, pinning Mika’s arms above her head. A slight gasp from the impact escaped Mika’s lips. A pleasant murmur left her throat when Roxie kissed her neck. A long, quivering sigh sounded from her mouth as Roxie bit the soft skin.

INK Clan of Darkens Approach

Let me tell you why today was amazing:

1. Major stress release. Running around screaming with rubber tubing in a forest with my main goal being to give children nightmares.
2. Extravagant make-up. I love standing out. I love making an effort. I want all eyes on me.
3. Extravagant costumes. See above.
4. It had an extreme Lord of the Rings theme. I'm not all that interested in lord of the rings, but it brought out a fairly nerdy side to just about everyone. In a word? Hilarious.
5. INKs worked as a team with minimal bitching. This is rare. You try spending all your time with the same 16 people and not getting mad at them. You don't get to choose the people. None of them start out as your best friends.
6. We got to build stuff. Like a great little camp. It. Was. Awesome.
7. Day off school. That means one less day worth of homework to do now.
8. When there was no screaming and running, we had a chance to chill out and breathe. We have busy schedules, so that's pretty rare.
9. Terrify children. See below for reasons on why I love this.
10. Counts for CAS. Cas is the voluntary work INKs have to do to pass and it has caused me to:

• Make boxes for recycling paper
• Collecting paper from said boxes
• Bake more cakes than I care to remember
• Paint a kitchen
• Paint childrens faces (I hate children)
• Help in a class full of 11 year olds for a lesson a week (I hate children)
• Taking my neighbours kid to the bus every morning (I hate children)
• Promote something I hate to unsuspecting students who are now putting themselves through the same pain I am (I do enjoy passing on pain... and I do hate children)
• Make-up on a ridiculous amount of kids for a school play (I hate children)
• Sat through the dullest conference about the middle east I ever plan to
• Wave cars around a parking lot so people could go watch children (I hate children)
• Help students that struggle with their GCSEs (I hate children)

On the upside, I've also got to:

• Give blood
• Belly dance
• Political conference
• Terrify children
• Get free food (there were catches. But there was also food)
• Go to a political demonstration
• Organise people (and T-shirts)
• Create presentations
• Play in the snow

All in all, I wouldn't be anything other than an INK. There is nothing quite like it. I mean how many people can say that part of their intensive studying course involved running around in a forest dressed in black cloaks, screaming and running after children?

Stress Release

Am getting very excited about fun in the woods. Us Inks are helping at a year 6 drama day with a hundred kids or so all running round in the woods having adventures. We're the dark elves. The evil ones.

It's not like I need practice at being bad, but I'm hardly going to say no.

It's an excuse to act like a small child wearing extravagant make-up and amazing costumes. I consider it stress release. Now I think it's time for my more convential stress release.

How did getting off become conventional?

A Bad Lesson

This is my schedule for a week

Monday
Morning- INK, friends, eat
Afternoon – INK Danish, nap, tetris
Evening – blogging, INK, eat, msn, belly dancing, sexually related activities, phone, sleep, music

Tuesday
Morning – INK, friends, eat
Afternoon – INK, friends, eat, nap, tetris
Evening – blogging, INK, eat, msn, phone, sleep

Wednesday
Morning – INK, friends, eat
Afternoon – INK, friends, eat, nap, tetris
Evening – town then blogging, INK, eat, msn, belly dancing, sleep

Thursday
Morning – INK, friends, eat
Afternoon – INK, friends, eat, nap, tetris
Evening – town then blogging, INK, eat, msn, sexually related activity, phone, sleep

Friday
Morning – INK, friends, eat
Afternoon – INK, friends, eat, nap, tetris
Evening – blogging, INK, eat, msn, DVD, phone, sleep

Saturday
Morning – INK, blogging, msn, eat, family
Afternoon – INK, blogging, msn, eat, family
Evening - – INK, blogging, msn, eat, family, sleep

Sunday
Work, eat, INK, phone, sexually related activity, sleep, DVD, cry

Music throughout

I want something new

I don't care what but I want to try, wear, do, etc. something new and exciting.

Kindly give suggestions.

P.S. Luck Lexy!

Warning

Yes, another warning aside from adult content.

Blogs will be short and sweet if at all. Just to say.

Don't say I don't give fair warning.

Monday

I have finally got the Essay of Dread done For the Woman with Hair as Big as her Awful Opinion thanks to the canadian Eminem. Despite the fact I still have 7 pieces of homework to do I feel much better.

To sum up: I have 7 pieces of homework to do, it's a Monday morning and I don't feel horrible.

Strange world.

Sex is like Maths

My homework seems to have multiplied over the weekend. I did not have this much on Friday. Why, oh why did I have to work 9-6?

Now I'm exhausted and I honestly just want to curl up with a "Cheer Up Hedgehog-"Hedgehog.

This makes me smile:

sex is like math: you add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and pray you don't multiply."

Some Sound Advice

Rough couple of days. Only be an INK if you can really handle it. That is all.

Filters

I am meant to be researching Gay: Nature or Nurture.

Instead I've spent the last 50 minutes getting my computer to let me post this blog. The site is filtered at school.

Was it worth it?






Nope.

Morning Economics

Last night at 11.02 I drank a mug of piss. It might have been coffee. It was horrific. I stayed up working till 2.

Why do I put work off? Let me put it like this. Consider the oppotunity cost, if I do one thing with my time, I can't do as much of something else. Homework comes low on my list. I would rather sacrifice sleep than time spent blogging and talking to friends. People who always do their work straight away must have an alternative that doesn't bear thinking about.

That will be all for now.

Things Every Girl Should Know

Today we read a poem in class and there was one line that caught my eye.

a green sapling rising among the twisted apple boughs

It didn't relate to the poem, but it reminded me of someone with fresh ideas standing up for what they believed in, despite the corrupt society trying to supress them. Probably just me.

I'm not really the romantic type. At all. Earlier on today (inbetween my second and third twister) I mixed up romance and suicide. Same difference.

Shakespeare taught me.

Today was yet another scolding hot day and I spent more time in undies than anything else. Currently I've actually given up on most of that too.

Now going in a slightly different (though typical) direction. It saddens me greatly that there are girls out there who think masturbation is sinful, dirty, gross, weird and something they should generally stay away from. If you don't know what feels good, how can you possibly teach a lover? I understand that biologically speaking sex is to procreate, what I can't understand is why you would sacrifice all that pleasure along the way.

Let me be clear, the only reason I'm doing this is to make it easier for you, when you do. I can't bear the thought of people who able to orgasm, not doing so.

Here are the basics. The illusive (but intense) G-spot and for experiences with a price tag (note the teddy in the right hand corner. Make good use of it.)

Call it biology revision and lock yourself in your room. Practice makes perfect.

The Minority

Now for those of you I don't loathe. You probably don't know who you are. I will neither confirm, nor deny.

I went belly dancing tonight for the first time in ages. Between shaking my boobs, belly and butt and sunbathing in my undies, I've worked up a fair appetite. I want hot lips teasing me, and a tongue dipping in and out just when I need it most. I want things so hot that I'm dripping with sweat and couldn't steady my breath if I wanted to. I want hands tugging hard at my hair and biting my clothes away. I want to get lost in the moment.

And Sara... When you read this, remember your exam is on LAW not sunbathing half-naked and my hips grinding against you. Just saying.

A Shout Out

I would like to apologize about not having blogged in the last few days, but I'm not sorry at all.

Now stop nagging. I am blogging. Be honoured that I'm still blogging.

Here's the thing, if I wasn't still blogging, people like Ben Lay would have to find something better to do than threaten to put my blog on facebook. Here's the thing, I started this blog to keep as a diary, but it has ended up at a way for me to broadcast things. So here I am, broadcasting, nice and loud: this is for you Ben.

Oh and by the way, you're welcome to post this blog on facebook, but be aware that it will only make people even more aware of how big an idiot you truly are. Catch 22, my friend.