Results

One thing I didn't mention in my massive catch up of June/July time was results which I got at the start of July. We were meant to collect them at 4pm. Parents were away on holiday and I was dreading results so when four o clock rolled round, I was still in bed and not really in the mood for going any further.

I made it up to school about 40 minutes late. I took my results and walked out. I wasn't in the mood for company. I went and sat alone for a while. When I eventually opened them I found I'd missed my first choice by one point. When later I got the component breakdown I found I'd missed the point my 5%. I was told to wait for the A Level results but I didn't hold much hope out. Come results day, I was officially rejected. My 6 marks, my 5% had cost me the next of my life and between £200 and £400 in resits depending on my offer for next year.

Honestly, not that bothered. I'd been expecting it for a while and had made plans around it. My resits are in November and by the end of November I'm hoping I'll have hopped on a plane and be working in one of the Ski hotels in Germany for 3 to 4 months before nipping back to Denmark for a few weeks to stay with my Grandma and potentially meet a friend (a prospect that excites me greatly). I'd head back to England and go surfing for a week or two before going back home to the little town and working full time for 6 months before jetting off to uni. In short my year involves working on my economics and German for my exams before heading off to Germany to ski and really get to grips with the language (a huge advantage when it comes to uni), seeing family and friends and then a little surfing before earning any money I spent back (bear in mind I'll be earning enough to live on in Germany) and then a whole load more in preparation for university.

In other news this holiday has meant I've been fucked over for prides: I missed my local pride by one day and I miss Cornwall pride by one day too. I wouldn't trade though because as amazing as Pride is, surfing is so awesome. I'm looking into buying my own board which would cost me about £250 for the kind and size I want, but if the alternative is renting then I only have to use it 22 times and it's paid for itself. On this holiday, the younger sibling has enjoyed colouring my hair with washable felt tip (one that actually washes off) and I've been doing lots of reading. I'm just about to crack on with a couple of Norwegian novels (one translated into Danish, the other German) to polish off the pile of books I took with me (and bought while I was here).

I'm genuinely getting withdrawal symptoms from being  off my surf board for two days. I feel a little ill, like when a pet dies and you miss it. I sigh constantly and daydream about being out there. Doesn't seem to matter what else I'm doing, it just doesn't measure up. For that reason I decided that I'm gonna complain to my family about how we should have more surf lessons. We've got 3 booked, but we're not leaving until Friday. We could squeeze another two in, but apparently the parents are "too old". My mother swims between half and a whole kilometre a day at home, alongside spin classes and working part time and studying, but she's too old for splashing about on a board for a bit? Bah.

It has been made quite clear that we will not be doing this holiday again next year and I in return made it clear that next year may be the first year where I pass on the annual family holiday.

Tidy vs. Messy

I'm currently sharing a room with the younger sibling. It's all family politics. Basically every year the two younger siblings share and I get my own room. They tear each other to shreds and everyone is miserable by the end of day one. It's largely because they're only two years apart and seem to take a sadistic pleasure in causing each other pain. I keep my sadistic pleasures out of the family.

This year in an attempt to keep the peace a little I volunteered to share with someone. I knew it would be the younger sibling which suited me better than the older. The older is a very light sleeper and she goes to sleep reasonably early in comparison to me. She can't stand my music and I can't stand hers. The younger sibling and I are both a touch more laid back and because she's a heavier sleeper I can put the light back on once she's asleep and carry on reading. Likewise, she can jump from her bed onto mine and just blame any aches I get on all the surfing. Everyone's happy.

Except for one thing. She is what you might call mildly disorganised. If you were disillusioned that is. She's essentially one of the messiest people on the planet to the point where my messiest friend's room looks like a haven in comparison. I'm a touch OCD as far as being tidy and orderly is concerned. If you imagine a room where if you stand the middle you can reach both walls and in that room you slap 2 single beds, a bedside table, a wall shelf stretching right across the walls and at the foot of one bed, a cupboard. There is also 2 hooks on the door and a mirror on the wall.

We both got a shelf of the bedside table and half of the wall shelf and we share the cupboard space. In theory. In reality, I have a quarter of the wall shelf, one shelf of the bedside table and the hooks on the back of the door. The rest of the space is chock a block full with the younger siblings stuff. It also floods out from under her bed and sits in big piles on her (unmade) bed. I'm ok with that.

The only thing I can't have is when her stuff starts flowing out from under her bed onto the minimal floorspace that we have. So I couple of times a day I tell her to go and clear her stuff off the floor on the basis that I don't want to stand on her £500 laptop and be liable to pay for it. It seems like a perfectly fair way of doing it and I'm being more than tolerant as far as the mess is concerned, so I might have got a little vocal when she refused to take her stuff off the floor. Once I threatened to move her out, she tidied very fast. Particularly because I threatened to move her outside. Through the window.

Who said you couldn't inspire through fear?

Literary Skills

I was lying on the sofa reading a book and the younger sibling comes in with another of my books.

"Can I borrow this?" she looks at me, a face full of honesty. I glance at the book and tell her that she can. She sits down next to me and opens the book in the middle. She reads aloud in what can only be described as gibberish.

Let me explain. I can speak danish fluently because I was there until I was 10. She cannot. This book is in danish.

"Are you so good at danish that you don't have to start on the first page?" I ask, trying not to laugh. She looks at me like I'm being ridiculous. She sighs, "well when you can speak danish like me, you'll understand."

She continues speaking gibberish for another minute or so before snapping the book shut.

"Was it good?" I ask her.

"Very good. Shame you can't speak danish. You would have liked it."

She gets up and walks away. You gotta love that humour.

An Old Fantasy (Work in Progress)

His hands slipped over my hips and pulled my back against his chest. He bent forward slightly and I felt his breath hot against my neck. His hands ran up my body, right over my shoulders and down my arms.

"alright sweetheart?" he growled. Before I had a chance to answer his teeth bit my neck so hard I gasped. His hands grabbed my wrists and in one fast move he whipped me round against the wall and pinned my hands above my head. I looked up into his face. I caught his eye and bit my lip. I watched his gaze drop. His lips parted a touch. He moved his fingers and held both my hands with one of his. His other hand trailed up my neck, lingering on the spot where he'd bitten me. He tilted my chin up gently and moved his face down to mine.

I could taste his breath. I pushed my body closer to him. His hand pushed my chest back and for the first time in a very long time, I felt out of control. His palm pushed down on my chest. I felt like my lungs were being cut short. My breathing was thick and dense. His lips were so close to mine that I could feel the heat between them. I ached to feel his hands all over me and my hips writhed closer to him. He pushed himself against me, trapping me between his strong body and the wall.

His lips touched mine and I moaned softly. Waiting longer than I want to, being at the mercy of someone else is not something I'm used to. As his lip slipped between mine, I bit at it. The snippet of power felt good. He pulled back and tugged my power from between my teeth.

He looked down at me, eyes flared with playful anger and full of raw desire. I licked my lips and tasted him on my soft lip. I shut my eyes and when I opened them, I gave him a smouldering look. I wet my lips slowly and said, "I'm yours for the taking."

His body pressed down against me and his mouth danced wetly with mine. My lips started by softly teasing his, but in less than a moment everything tender was ripped apart. His tongue thrust into my mouth and I'd groan appreciatively at the force.

His grip tightened around my wrists and I felt as if I was being pulled against my muscles. Drawn up and lengthened. He pulled back and left my mouth feeling empty. My lips stayed parted and I looked up, waiting. His fingers crept up my chest, slowly deliberately. As they slid over the skin of my neck, my eyes glazed over. His fingers trailed up my neck and over the short hair on the back of my head. I felt his hand settle. My eyes refocused.

My head was whipped back with so much force that I gasped. He'd grabbed hold of my hair, wrapping strands around his fingers and tugged my head back. My eyes snapped back into focus when I felt his tongue running across my lip. I didn’t move. 

Cornwall and a Spot of Gender Confusion

The morning we left for the last stretch of journey to Cornwall, I had my breakfast served with a side of "you look just like a little boy from the back." That's what I need first thing in the morning. To be told that people are gonna think I'm male. Nice. When it came down to it, apparently that wasn't quite enough, so she said, "hmm, actually, I don't think boys even have it that short." It's a number 3 in the neck. So I'm beyond male.

Once we got to Cornwall and settled into the caravan we went food shopping. There was a *slight* misunderstanding in regards to fresh juice. Caravans aren't renowned for having huge fridges and due to a... misunderstanding on my part we ended up with 5 litres of fresh juice and smoothie. Ahem. Parents were not happy. We were quite pleased.

We chilled out for the rest of the day. On the Sunday we had breakfast and body boarded for a an hour or two. We got out, chilled, had lunch and hit the water again. You can get from our caravan to the sea in less than two minutes, it's perfection. Apart from this Massive Hill of Sand that you have to battle your way up when you want to go back.

We headed down for our first surf lesson today and I went in to settle some debt I had with a certain instructor before changing. I overheard that our lesson was cancelled due to lack of wave. I went and told my family so they'd stop changing. Mark came with me and we rebooked the lesson. I settled my debt with my instructor. He smiled at me in the most delicious way. There is going to be some flirting in the water.

We went to St Ives instead. I picked up a book for £1 (I've finished 2 out 4 already) and some other trinket bits. It was a good day and it was sunny. We had lunch at the same place Lexy and I had eaten. It was as good as I remembered. Absolutely delicious.

We had some bread and olives for starts and then I went for a steak sandwich with chips for mains. "Rare, rare as it comes," I told the waitress. It came to me well done. I asked for it to be redone and it came back bloody. It was delicious. I finished off with an Eton Mess and actually polished off both of the siblings white chocolate cheesecakes too. I slept most of the afternoon, all that food has pretty much knocked me down.

On a final note I'm sharing a room with the youngest sibling. That way the two of them argue less and seeing as I'm a heavy sleeper she can get up when she wants without anyone waking up and because she's a reasonably heavy sleeper I don't have to worry about going to bed later than her. What it does mean is that our room is the weirdest looking thing you'll ever see. My side has the bed made with 5 pillows (I like comfort) and perfectly straight clothes stacked on the shelf and books leant in an excessively organised way on the side. The younger siblings side is a tip. Clothes are overflowing off the shelf, things are falling down, her bed is never made, there are clothes and electronics all over it. It's quite a sight, but my rule is, as long as it's off the floor, I don't care.

Finally caught up

So there it is. My last 2 months. Or at least the highlights. As it stands now, I'm on my way out to surf again. We're spending the night at my step grandparents so we don't have to make the whole trip in one go. It's meant to mean we're not too tired from all the travelling in one day, but I'm still up gone midnight now, so I'm not sure how well that really worked. Still it's the first time I've seen them in a year, so I don't really mind being here.

Ways of passing the time includes listening to the siblings scream at each other, blogging or tuning into the conversation around you. For example:
*Phone is ringing*
Grandma: is that someone's phone?
Step dad: Yes. It's yours.

*Grandma is using electric knife to cut bread with*
Step dad: So instead of using the nice, new bread knife I got you, you're still using this old one that'll electrocute you?

*A VERY large man appears on TV*
Grandma: if I was that fat, I wouldn't eat for a fortnight.

I settled on blogging.

I also ordered some more bondage. I got some suction cuffs for shower sex, some bondage tape, a good length of Japanese bondage rope and some door jam cuffs that I'm still waiting for. A girl has to have some fun.

Threesome

I have a little bit of an obsession with threesomes. My top to try is 3 girl, but I have received an invite to a threesome with a straight couple I know in Germany.

It's open invite, so whenever I'm next over, they'll book a hotel room and we'll have all night to go anyway we like. I was talking to the guy and I was asked if his girlfriend wouldn't mind that he was suggesting a threesome to another girl. He said, "who do you think told me to ask you?"

There we have it, I have two lovely Germans hot for a spot of group sex with me. Not a bad evening.

Spa and Shopping

My step-dad had won a spa day around valentine's day and upon deciding that it really wasn't his thing, said that me and my mum should go. We booked it up a few weeks back and last Friday we went. The treatment included a half hour back, neck and shoulder massage and a half hour facial, plus use of all the facilities and classes for the rest of the day. My mum went first, I slept in a chair in the relaxation room while I waited.

My massage was intense. I don't enjoy massages very much because I have a huge number of back knots. They hurt like hell. Massages and the knots. She was very good though, it hurt, but not as much as it can do and when she was done I felt genuinely relaxed and just better. Afterwards she said that I'd had so many knots she hadn't actually known how she was going to get them all out.

I'm not much for facials either, I have pretty good skin and they tend to make it greasy and then I break out, but again, she pleasantly surprised me and left my skin soft and radiant. Like pregnancy radiant, but without the giant belly. She told my mum that I had lovely skin. She told me I should consider regular massages.

We decided against making the most of the other facilities and instead hit the shops of Cardiff (oh yeah, we were in Wales). I got an incredible pair of heeled boots. They're military lace ups and look so sexy with skinny jeans or a skirt. In fact, they just look good period.

I had a fantastic time with my mum and it just reminded me why I love her so much. Not only is she insanely cool with everything ("you and cam are casual? You mean you're fuck buddies!"), she's done it all before me (I feel like a carbon copy of her most days), but she's just fun to be around. I know I can rely on her and I can tell her anything I want and if I don't want to, she won't push me to. I know it's unusual to have such a good relationship with your mum, but I really wouldn't have it any other way.

King Bob

I met up with a friend and on a whim we caught the bus and decided to do some shopping. I got amongst other things a piano keys belt, a bag with speakers coming out of the holes of handcuffs (loud bondage. Could it be more perfect?) and a black dress which I molested with scissors so it's now covered in rips. Very sexy.

We met up with another, very tall, friend and had such a laugh with him. We went to McDonalds and he created creatures from burger boxes, chip bags and drinks containers. King Bob and Susan were born. It was an incredible day.

Alix

I added her on facebook (James found her for me because I refuse to facebook stalk and because I can't work facebook well enough to facebook stalk). The first thing she did after accepting was give me her number. We texted for a while and planned to meet up the week after next and ended up bringing it up to the coming Thursday.

I caught 10am bus and got in at 11am. I left at 2pm.

The next day.

On the first day we had a really wicked time. We messed around, chatted, I took the piss out of her (that's just what I do) and generally had a laugh. Some time during the afternoon we kissed and fucked. Just a quickie, but it was good. I was going out for a friends birthday that night and asked if she wanted to come along. She said she did. I went and met some other people, and got changed. We went to the club and Alix met us there.

She's so gay she makes me feel like a Barbie doll. All plastic, tits and fake. We had a really, really good time, my friends thought she was great. It was a really good night, we danced and laughed. At one point I pinned her against a ceiling pole with her hands above her head and kissed her. A bouncer came over and told her that it wasn't that sort of place. Much as I want equality, I didn't get mad, just because it was so funny that the bouncer told Alix to stop and not me. She dresses kinda boyish and I was in a basque, short skirt and heels. It looked like she'd be in charge. Alix said it was completely unfair that he told her to stop and not me, it blatantly wasn't her doing it. I thought it was kinda funny.

The birthday girl seemed to have a good time too. We danced and danced. I scabbed fags for her and asked how she felt about me staying at hers tonight. She said she was planning to ask me. We got in about 2. We got to sleep about 7. You do the maths.

Girl has stamina something crazy. We had about 3 hours sleep and then fucked for another 4 hours on and off. It was so much fun, a really incredible night, but I think because we're both busy and I'll be moving out soon and she's found a girl that's potential relationship material, we're gonna leave it as it stands. A hell of a lot of fun. She's good to have as a friend, she has all the right contacts, see?

Short-ass Stalker

The ginger girl texted me 8 times from me leaving the club and me waking up at 8 the next morning. This included a text demanding that I reply and one that said "I have been thinking about you x." That's not really what I want to wake up. It's pretty creepy. I organised to meet up with her so that I could tell her to cool the texting or tell her I wasn't interested.

She continually texted me until we met, where I made it clear that I just wasn't interested. On the upside, I did buy a skirt. She carried on texting me for another week or so before eventually giving up. Don't get me wrong, she was a nice enough person. Until it got to the creepy intense part.

Gay Bar

James texted and asked if I wanted to go out to a gay bar. I asked when. He said Friday. So we went. We caught the bus. I wore skinnies, these awesome red trainers that JJ got me for my birthday, a white tank top, blue blazer and some big blue earrings. Very chilled out.

The first place we went to was a dump. It's apparently more of an older gay scene. We headed to the only other gay bar in the town we'd ventured to. It was pretty quiet there too, but I chatted to a cute ginger girl who introduced me to a gay couple who introduced me to loads of other people. I danced a lot and drank nothing. I flirted with the girl who worked there and with the ginger girl. 

I swapped numbers with the short ginger girl and we did make out a little. She seemed really nice. I didn't get any way of keeping in touch with the girl who worked there. Let's call her Alix.

Honestly though, I just love to dance, it's so much fun. I love getting lost in the beat and just feeling my blood pound to the bass. It was a great night, got in about 3.30 in bed about 4. Was not in the mood for work the next day and honestly, did fuck all. 

JJ's BBQ

This was a party for the sake of it. To make the most of the recent sunshine. So of course, it rained.

It wasn't too bad and stopped pretty soonish. Sara, J and I sorted out the bbq while everyone else got drunk and so on. Sara and I were staying at mine and she was driving us back later, so she was sober too. As we stood up by the bbq doing the manly thing and cooking meat over fire, the boys sat and gossiped. Typical.

The Scotsman got very, very drunk and needed nursing. He passed out several times and at one point stopped breathing for a good 10 seconds. I hit him in the stomach and he started again. Apparently that's bad because he could have choked on his own vomit, but he didn't and I panicked. I was aiming to leave with Sara by 2ish, but we didn't go until 4 in the end because in his intoxicated state he was not co-operative.

Other things happening that night was a friend considering going Amazonian. She decided she should try being lesbian to figure out if it was for her. She chickened out.

When we finally got back we passed out and it was so nice to sleep indoors knowing that other people had to be on the hard ground in a tent. Nice and warm and superior.

Prom in a field

This was Sara's idea. She didn't want to go to the regular prom and so organised our own leavers thing. She did go to the prom in the end, but we still had our leavers. We all turned up and dumped our stuff down in the field. We got the trampoline down into the field which was a pretty treacherous task. We insisted on rolling it down. There was danger of tipping. We found a slightly less life endangering method of getting it back up.

We had a bbq courtesy of Sara's parents up in the garden and drinks too. We were presented with gifts from a girl who's in the year below, but friends with all of us, so she feels especially like she's losing us. We each got a red shoebox and it in was a picture of some half naked girls for the guys, half naked guys for the girls. Sara got girls. I got both. We also got chocolate sauce, saucy underwear and handcuffs with keys. It was a great present. She'd labelled it "survival kit for uni." Girl does good.

As we were too far away from plugs for an extension chord, so Sara and I had invested in over 50 tiny jam jars and a whole lot of tea candles. We lit them all in the dark and set them up on some dressage kit. They looked incredible. It was a pretty good night. I hung out with Sara mostly and we slept in my tent. We used the cover on top of the tent to keep dry which was stolen later by people who were wet.

The tent even with the cover stolen, held dry. Until I started you know... poking the sides. We slept the longest out of everyone until 8.30 because we were both dry and warm. Breakfast was nice, weather was pretty awful though.

During the evening it turned out that I can't sumo wrestle because I can't stand when my gravity is so far off what I'm used to. We did also try to get some chocolate wrestling going with a couple of females, but the chocolate sauce was far too sticky for it. It ended up being a sugary, grassy mess.

All in all a good night. Good to see people especially as I won't be seeing a lot of them for a while or at all. Weird how everything is moving so fast now.

Thorpe park

This was such an amazing day. There ended up being 11 of us, which was a pretty big group. Sara drove me, J and JJ out there and due to my exceptional navigating skills (and in my defence, a really awful map) we got a little lost. You know, like ended up driving around Staines for a while. Well, it was fun. Depending on your definition of fun.

We started out with a ride on a fairly easygoing giant swing thing. It broke down while we were queuing which you'll find is somewhat of a theme for the day. They had it up and running pretty quickly though and we headed to the water ride that was first on our fast track ticket. We got a little wet. You know the kind where if, like me, you'd worn a white shirt, you might as well not have bothered because it was completely see through anyway. Damp, really.

I did try stripping but my group informed that it would be inappropriate. Bloody society. It was hot and my clothes were soaked. Making me stay dressed is cruel for me and a loss for the world.

*My own arrogance does surprise me sometimes.*

We headed to detonator and the frequently drunk Scotsman made a loving racist joke about how people in Burkhas shouldn't be allowed on. He's quite twisted, but doesn't mean it so I'm, for the most part, willing to overlook that flaw of his. Detonator wasn't bad, although, I do think I got more enjoyment from watching the look of shock on people's faces when they came back down than actually featured said look. Just a thought.

Next up was Collosus which features all the right ingredients for vomit in motion, but has the speed to ensure it doesn't carry through. Wicked fun though. I'm somewhat of an adrenaline junkie and I'll do anything for a cheap thrill. Or a slightly more expensive thrill as this day was.

Nemesis inferno was my favourite in the past, and it did not let me down. I love having my feet free to dangle. I will say this though, the anticipation of going up that first hill made my legs tighten up quite a bit. As in they were straight. My arms were up the entire time (between Sara and I we ruined every photo there was of us on a ride) but man it was good.

We were queuing for another ride when it broke down and we headed over for lunch. I was forced to play the foreigner card due to a slight pronunciation difference between me and everyone else when it came to Burger King. I'll put the pressure where ever I bloody like.

After lunch we headed to X: No Way Out. This is a pretty tame roller coaster, but it's backwards and in semi darkness. Because of the somewhat tame nature, the security is limited. It had a lap bar. That was it. Now despite it being tame in comparison to others, it did go pretty fast with a fair few corners and drops. I'm quite thin, there is very little to my thighs. I was very close to falling out. This ride terrified me. My legs wouldn't work properly afterwards so I had to be held up. Sara very kindly held onto me during because it wasn't just feeling like I was falling, it was real. Just a word of warning on that one.

We headed over to queue for Stealth. I'm not a fan of stealth. I just don't think you get a lot for your waiting time. I feel the adrenaline, but mostly, it's just waiting. So we waited. It broke down. We kept waiting. And waiting. And waiting. For an hour and 20. Eventually they said they didn't know how or when they'd have it fixed so they were going to give us free fast tracks to any ride. We all felt pretty good about that seeing as we'd been torn between Saw and Stealth anyway.

We got the tickets. Not only did we balls up the numbers and get 14 tickets, but they were only valid for rides we'd already been on or Stealth. We weren't too impressed. I took Sara and one of her fellow law students over to the guys handing out the tickets.

"Hey, I have a query about this. On the tannoy you said we would be given a fast track for "any ride." This isn't any ride. I don't want to kick up a massive fuss about it, but that is false advertising. How would you like to help me solve this?"

"Err.." The poor guy looked terrified. One of his colleagues saw and came over. He asked what the problem was. I explained. He didn't look overly convinced. At this point my law-informed entourage piped up with acts and dates. We owned his ass. He seemed to realise pretty quickly that we weren't just going to leave. He changed the tickets for us and told us if there were any problems to talk to Mark from Stealth. We later wrote a thank you note for him because it was a really nice thing to do.

We headed to Saw. It was terrifying. The whole set up had you pumping with fear before you even got close to the actual ride. I sat with Sara. Just after it started I offered her my hand for security. We were both really scared. She took it. after about 5 seconds we both snatched our hands back because frankly the metal pole felt safer. It was an incredible ride. I did not stop screaming. Sara screamed at me that I was loud. That's how loud I was. I distracted her from the ride with my shrill shriek.



Finally we went for another water ride. Tame thing, but enough for a good laugh. We counted the bears and cooled down when we got hit. We bought ice cream and so on right before we left. It was a really good day and we made it back. Sara's car is a little sketchy when it comes down to it. Like the door opens while you're driving if you haven't shut it just right.

*Note with hindsight* Sara's car passed her MOT. Sort of. The mechanics said, "we'll pass it, if you go home and fix that RIGHT now." That's not very reassuring, but Sara assures me that it's fine. I'm not convinced.

Gay pride

Do you ever dream of being lost in the crowds, just another stranger and at the exact same time, the centre of attention? I did that on this particular Saturday. In the morning we got ready and went down for our included breakfast (which was good by the way). Well, I think that actually makes it sound a little more simple than it was. It was nice and easy for me, I showered, got dressed, did my make-up and went to eat with all the Canadian girls we'd made friends with. I was nearly done with my meal before the other two made it down. A combination of an early morning and outfit issues had slowed them down.

After breakfast there were more outfit issues because apparently looking "gay" is an insult. Personally, on this occasion, I would have thought it was perfect. While J and JJ dealt with wardrobe casualty and other such issues, I made friends with a cute Spanish guy with a very English name. He was nice, and I recommended that he go to pride, but he had some friends to see that took priority. Eventually we made our way and picked up Sara, James and another lovely girl for pride. Sara was whining about feeling sick. I told her to suck it up a little. She wasn't too impressed. She felt better later though, just needed to loosen up a little.

We made our way over to baker street and were about an hour early. We took a look at the floats and groups, just taking in the atmosphere. I was wearing a mostly see through red bra and red shorts that might as well have been underwear. We covered each other in washable felt tip. I had rainbow hearts coming up my side, rainbow kisses on my chest, rainbow war stripes on my face and "Love is Universal" in swirly writing on my back. I did also have rainbow radiating off my lizard. It was good. While waiting for J who was queuing for the toilet in Costa I made some more friends at Stonewall and some passers-by. Because, well, because I can.

Just as we were about to get moving, JJ informed that she'd left her wash bag at the hostel and was going back for it. She ended up spending all day on the tubes trying to get hold of the hostel. Her wash bag didn't turn up and she didn't catch up with us until after the parade which really sucked.

Sara carried my bag for me as an excuse for her not to dance, which also made it considerably easier for me to dance exactly how I want to. We eventually found some music that I deemed suitable and I ground to the beat. I threw my hips about, rolled my shoulders and was essentially demanding everyone's attention. Which I got. I danced for about 4 hours to the point that at the end of the parade I had literally danced the soles out of shoes. We went and sat by Embankment Station. We waited for JJ, James and the other girl (I'm too lazy to think up a name for her, sorry) went to McDonalds to get us drinks. In the meantime, I went to Costa, had our bottles filled up and purchased everyone a lolly. The girl serving me gave me discount. Bra just paid for itself. Well, started earning it's keep at any rate. I did have to swap over to my other bra because the red one was somewhat... Well I had bruising for several days in several places and I *never* bruise. My body pretty much rejects the idea of pain.

I loved all the attention. I loved the cameras, the stares, the cheers, the guys who demanded hugs. I'll be friendly with anyone unless they give me reason not to. It's a little sketchy what qualifies as a reason though. We went to a concert in the middle of Trafalgar square and managed to piss off J and JJ quite badly. Sorry guys...

Had a wicked time dancing to *really* awful music though. Awful like Same Difference being one of the better acts. Yes, that bad. While we were down there, they had to stop the music several times because people climbed onto the 400 year old fountains. I'm not gonna lie, it did look good, but I'm not sure London Council would be too pleased when 60 odd queer and questioning people broke history.

When we walked towards the main area a guy with electric blue contact lenses stopped me and asked, "are you a lesbian?" If I was a dog I would have bristled and bared my teeth. Then I realised that on this occasion it was not only a fair question, but a necessary one. He was taller than me, tanned and toned. I said, "bisexual."

"You're pretty fit." I smiled and walked past him. He was good looking, but I wasn't interested in pulling. It wasn't what I was there for. A little later I found myself chatting to a girl in a sailors outfit. She was so drunk that I had to hold her up on several occasions to stop her falling into the fountain. She left to chat to some friends. Sara and I had a water fight. We turn around and see two security guards trying to chase after the drunk sailor girl through the water. They are wearing a great deal of heavy gear and she's wearing one very thin dress. She runs out the water and comes and stands near us. Her dress is now doing as much for coverage as cling film would. I look at Sara, nod in the drunk girls direction and said, "nice thong."

After a while, we went and got Subway (J and JJ were off on their own London adventures) and I was first in line. I ordered my foot long sub (I had done *a lot* of dancing) and Sara ordered next. I had my ingredients put in and went to pay. The guy stared at my boobs and £4.99 flared on the till. He stared harder. He pushed a button on the till and suddenly £2.99 flashed on the till. Boobs = discount. That's not all. The guy who'd taken my order at first had been so busy staring at me walk away that he's forgotten to take Sara's order. She had to start over. There are advantages to being a little out of proportion.

When we started to head back to the station and actually the entire way home, I tried persuading Sara that we should stay in London, that we should turn around and go back. She was tempted. I was serious. After two gay days in London, the last thing I wanted was to go back to the racist, sexist, homophobic shit hole that I currently reside in.

When we got off the train, Sara gave me, J and JJ a lift back. We dropped the other two off first and I picked up some bits I'd left behind on a previous occasion. We dropped in to see one of Sara's class mates to drop some things off and ending up standing and talking for ages. I managed to convince her mum that I was a sexual predator ready to be dictator of the world.

...So, the truth. It was an amazing couple of days and the crash of coming back to small town reality was definitely there. Can't wait until next year.

*A note with hindsight* About 5 weeks later I was sitting on the tills at work and a girl comes up to me and says, "you were at London pride, weren't you?" I smile, honestly, I'm a little taken a back. "Yeah, I was..." "Yeah I saw you, you looked like you were having  a good time. You going to Brighton this weekend?" "No, I can't get the time off work, would have loved to though." "That's a shame, I would have liked to have seen you dancing again." I gave her her change and she left with her friends. She looked straight as anything, so not really my type. Small world though.

Wireless

I caught the train with J and JJ to London. It pulled in and we jumped on the tube and walked to our youth hostel (£22 for the over 18s including breakfast). We jumped out stuff and SEVERAL outfit changes later, not on my part, we made our way over to Hyde Park.

Pink was headlining alongside the Ting-Tings and the Gossip. It had not occurred to me what that would do to the straight/lesbian ratio there. I'd just accepted the last ticket going from JJ and settled my debt. It was a total Lez-fest. I was very pleased with this outcome. We started out watching Bluey Robinson who is immensely hot and incredibly talented. It was a really good start and we headed for the main stage and watched the end of Bowling for Soup's set. Funny guys. We had some ice cream and chilled out for a while.

I decided to make the most of the eye candy. I wandered around alone just soaking up the atmosphere and all the beautiful girls with buzz cuts and doc martins. I do love the rocker look. I spotted a stunning girl. Petite, slim, one side of her head completely shaved and a layered choppy mohawk style going up the other. She had delicate elvish features with a small mouth with full lips.

She was with two other girls, they'd all just sat down. I went and knelt by her and touched her on the shoulder. "I'm sure you're not single, but I just thought you should know you are one of the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen." She looked at me, huge brown eyes, with something of a question in them. She bit her lip. One of the girls pointed to the other and said, "...and that's her girlfriend."

I glanced at the girlfriend (who didn't look too impressed might I add) and said, "you are lucky to have her. Enjoy the show tonight." As I walked away, I heard the girlfriend snap, "why didn't you tell her?" Well, I just aired an opinion.

I headed back to the others and we headed into the crowd. Aside from one very angry ginger guy who desperately tried to pick fights with everyone and hold his picnic blanket as his personal space. At a concert. Right. Eventually one girl got to him enough that he stormed off in a very angry way and left his picnic blanket behind. Which we all happily and guiltlessly trampled on for the rest of the night.

The Gossip were absolutely wicked and put on a wicked set. I danced like crazy, but then I'm a rhythm slut who'll dance to anything with a beat. I dropped my top because it was pretty hot in the crowd and I like to be more naked than not. Being the social creature that I am, I made some friends. Namely a gorgeous girl called Prue from a seaside town. We talked through most of the Ting-Tings set. It was pretty samey, so we talked instead, while I danced. Like I said, rhythm slut.

Prue was a hell of a lot of fun and incredibly cool. Pretty soon we were making out a little. She wished I lived nearer her, I pointed out life is no fun if everything is easy. I really enjoyed the company of having someone to dance with, chat to, have a total laugh with when I'd only just met them. I love the stranger thing.

Pink was incredible. She pulled this girl on stage who just happened to have an amazing voice, she talked to the audience like they were people not just ticket stubs. She fell out of a box 30 meters in the air as a starting act, her stage was set up like a funfair, she zip wired over the crowds whilst singing and ran over the audience in a giant hamster ball. Not to mention the fact that her music and voice was incredible. I was buzzing.

After the concert I said bye to Prue (we'd had such a wicked night)  and we made our way out. We got to the main streets and there was a policeman who frankly might as well have been a comedian the way he got the crowds going. He knew how to motivate us. We went and had McDonalds (I waited and had hot wings from KFC after) and we made our way home.

We did end up wandering the streets for SOME time seeing as I hadn't taken the map with me. Or listened to the woman when she was talking to us about coming in at night. Even though there were 3 of us, I apparantly got the blame for that because I'm usually the organised one. Eventually we found our way into the hostel and helped a couple of others while we were at it. A good nights sleep was exactly what we needed, even if some of us did insist on showering at night instead of in the morning. Typical.

Party in the Garden

My 18th summer birthday rolled in and it was time to celebrate. I'm not a big drinker (in fact I don't consider myself a drinker at all) so a pub crawl wasn't really my style. I teamed up with a couple of other friends and borrowed another friends garden. We set up music and tents and a table with alcohol.

Around 30 people arrived and aside from one rather drunk Scottish drunk individual who encouraged other drunk individuals to climb trees it was a very enjoyable night. I did end up being on watch guard duty, but that was voluntary. I had a good time, but I will be completely honest. It's over a month ago. I remember it was good, but not actually what happened. I know I chilled quite a bit with Sara, James, JJ and J so it was bound to have been good.

Prom

The Friday after we got back was our leavers prom. I wasn't too bothered about it to the point where I'd even found an outfit in my cupboard because there was no way in hell I was paying more than the £33 ticket cost. 

I borrowed a skirt from a friend, a great little black thing with criss-cross up both sides. With it I wore black hold ups with teal lace criss-crossing up the back and a teal and black Basque. That's right, I wore lingerie. On top of that I wore a pretty black and white flowered dress. Knee length, very classy. Not very me. About halfway through dinner I got rid of the pretty dress and rocked up in lingerie. I feel so much better like that. I never did feel comfortable wearing the proper kit. Netball skirt? Don't think so. Year 11 prom dress? Could have been a top. I like to do things my way. I like to stand out. I always was an attention slut.

I was sat on a table with loads of my old friends, people I don't see so much any more which was cool. Food was of course shocking. Melon and berry starter was decent, mains of steak and veg was overdone all round, but could have been worse and dessert was SO rich. And I love rich food, but this was enough to make anyone feel ill. 

Because I don't drive, I have a citizenship card for ID. Friends had forgotten their ID so I went and got them a drink. First time was fine. Then they said my ID was no good. So I asked why not. They did not accept my ID on the grounds that it can be faked. Like everything in life. I pointed this out. They had no further reasons. They told me I wouldn't get into a club with it. I did later that night, but hey, the alcohol wasn't for me anyway. 

I danced later and chatted to teachers and friends. Sara went in a suit, she looked good. Ironically it was the most feminine I'd seen her in ages. Around midnight I hitched a lift back to my town and we went to the (only) club in town. I got in with my potentially faked ID and just danced. I was home by 3, had work the next morning, but it wasn't a bad night. I got a text that made me smile much that even if it had been an awful night, that would have made it. No, I'm not gonna share. A girl likes to keep some secrets.

Hooking up

We walked back to the house in a very wobbly way. It turns out, it's very hard to walk in a straight line once intoxicated and I am a thorough lightweight.

He was more than up for a threesome, but Lexy is in a monogamous relationship, so that was a no-go. We had a drink and I leant against him. His hands slipped up my hips and onto my bare waist. I tilted my head back towards him and we kissed. His hands slipped up my hips and over my stomach, cupping my bra. I undid the clasps of my dungarees and they fell to the floor. His fingers ran down my stomach and into my underwear. His fingers were hot and rough against me and I pushed against him. My body ground onto him and I felt his hard cock press against me.

Lexy had disappeared out to call her boyfriend and we moved into the bedroom. I tugged his shirt over his head and onto the floor. His chest was tanned and I gave him a half smile before running my hand up his neck and over his short hair. His blue eyes sparkled and hand crept around my ass and down my thigh, lifting my leg. He kissed me hard, lips full of desire, my body pumped.

My nails dug into his shoulders and dragged down over his hips. My fingers rattled his belt and flies undone and pushed his jeans down. He pushed my back onto the bed and I pulled him on top of me. My head was spinning, I could hardly breathe. I tipped him over and straddled his chest. I undid my bra and his lips parted.

His voice was thick and growling, "I've been fantasising about these tits all week." I raised my eyebrow, ran my lips over his broad chest and moved my body up his until my nipples were dipping into his face. He bit one, then the other. "Harder" I rasped, my head felt like it was full of water. When his teeth gave me the release I craved I felt like a lighting storm at sea had hit my brain. I gasped and bit my lip, my nails digging into his chest.

"Gonna fuck me then?" I smiled at him. His eyes told me everything I needed to know. I slid off his chest and reached over to my bag and pulled out about 20 condoms, "any preference?"

He fucked me well. Hard and rough. Several times over. I'm not gonna give it all away, but this boy was filthy. I prefer sober sex, climaxing makes me plenty dizzy, but as this goes, it wasn't half bad.

Drinking

As I've made perfectly clear over the course of this blog, but particularly in my non-cyber life it is that I don't enjoy drinking. It's expensive, tastes horrible and I get tired and dizzy from it. However, it would appear that I have something of a weak spot for Sambuca.

The village was tiny, but did have a pub about 10 feet away from our house. Lexy decided to get me pissed. I flirted with the guy behind the bar. I had 2 shots of Sambuca (which by the way I drank my dipping my finger and licking it off. Took hours. So worth it) and was plastered. Upon seeing a sign that warned that the road was winding on our 10 foot walk home, we decided that was how we should be walking up the road. Yes, really.

Day two, I had 3 shots of Sambuca, one of which I actually downed as a shot. That was not as enjoyable, but I was far more drunk. Headache for an hour in the morning, bad dreams all night, dizzy whilst drunk. I remembered why it was I didn't drink.

On the last night, I had 3 shots of Sambuca, a double Sambuca and lemonade and an Apple Vodka. Lexy was far more drunk than I was, but we were hanging out with the guys from the surf school. I was in my usual dungaree and bra gear. The guy Lexy and I were mostly hanging out with had taken a couple of our lessons and was VERY drunk. Earlier that day he'd mentioned a girlfriend, but later swore blind he didn't have one. Girlfriend isn't my problem either way.

We had a laugh, chatting and hanging out, just chilling. Until that is, that we decided we should go back to the house.

Tattoo

For two years I've known that I wanted 6 tattoos. All Lizards. On the last full day in Cornwall I got my first.

I like Lizards, they're like secrets. They can hide in the cracks and until the time is right. You wont see all their beauty until they're ready for it. You might catch a glimpse through the cracks in the foundations, but never all of it. The first one I got is behind my right ear, the tail just creeps around the bottom. He's tiny and perfect. The location is for my mind. Each lizard will gets his own spot with a reason behind it.

We went in and I said I wanted a lizard with a pointed head. When we came back in she'd drawn up a perfect lizard for me. Lexy got "Love" in swirly writing on her ankle. It was my first tattoo and the artist did the test line. I did not even feel it.

High pain threshold. He's healed completely now and I love him to bits (even if I do have to cover him for work). One down, 5 to go.

Heat

It was hot while we were in Cornwall. Really hot. Dry heat too, not even that horrible humid heat. Humid heat is like being suffocated by a sweat soaked pillow. Dry heat makes your throat hurt, but you feel so languid and relaxed that you barely notice. Regardless, heat makes you hot. When I'm hot, I don't like to bother with clothes.

Actually, I just don't like to bother with clothes.

So in order to not get arrested, I compromised and wore dungarees and bras or just my bikini all week. I got a wicked tan. I just felt free. The most amazing thing though. Even in my wetsuit, in Lidl, I barely got strange looks. It was like it was normal. Normal for a girl to walk through a supermarket in a bikini (I did that too).

Coming home was hard. Not only was it back to business as usual for me (I kick started with something just over a 40 hour week at work), but I had to wear whole outfits again. I just don't like wearing clothes once I'm out my local council.

I got slightly red across my face and a tiny bit on my back, but mostly, I went brown. That's so rare for me. And I was lucky enough to not have a pre burn of wave shapes across my back where I'd tried to do my own suncream, missed parts and burnt in the sun. Unlike SOME people.

Driving

As previously mentioned this was a VERY small village that we were staying in and we only had half day surf lessons. You can only kill so much time with eating and watching Big Brother (I take no responsibility in the choice of programme - is that still going?) and I don't like to nap too much. So the title is not referring to get to lidl's and get back again. Oh no, this is how we passed 2 afternoons. We drove round the coast.

Because we could. We stopped at beaches all over. We went to Lizard, we hit Lands End (on realising where we were we very urgently turned around. Whilst screaming), and two places called Treen, amongst others.

There's a lot of beauty to be seen. I never really understood that when I was younger, why you would go and look at landscapes. I still don't in a lot of ways, but there is so much beauty in the world and you have to try and see it all. Otherwise you wont know how to pick your favourites.

This also massively improved my still very poor map reading skills.

Bra

I'm fairly certain I must have mentioned that bras are particularly expensive and rare for me due to low availability in my size, so when while on holiday we stumbled across a lingerie shop who actually had two items in my size, one of which looked incredible. Well I had to buy it. It's a gorgeous black thing with lace trim and tiny blue flowers.

I also got myself a surf school hoodie. I felt that after going there 3 years, I was probably entitled. I got a mens, blue one. I love it. It's nice and bright so I stand out from the crowd when I wear it and I do like to stand out a little.

St Ives

We had our morning lesson and got changed and into the car. After a quick trip to the house, we set off for St. Ives. We knew we needed to get a tram there and we sort of knew where we were meant to be going. The sort of knowing where you go round twice on roundabouts only to go back the way you came. You know before settling on scaring some guy from the Cornish Council by demanding directions.

We made it to the tram (it's a park and ride with a tram instead of a bus. Clever, see?), parked up and waited. The tracks were in front of this huge amount of barren, dried up land. It looked beautiful in a kind of broken way. Once we got into St. Ives Lexy commented that it was busy. I loved it. I love the crowds, the heat, the sweat, everything to see. Lexy does not. She likes peace and quiet. The village that we were staying in was completely dead. The sort of place that's 90% percent tourists in August and thus 90% dead in June. In fact on the second day we were there we walked the whole village in the afternoon. We went into the church and over the marshy fields and back to the surf school. That's pretty much the village.

I was glad of the change of scenery. We hit the charity shops. Lexy found this lace top, just a black lace t-shirt thing with a tight beige top underneath. I tried it on and bought it. I asked for scissors and cut out the top underneath. A nice see through top which I deemed completely appropriate for outdoor wear.

We walked up and down the beach and around the shops for a while before booking a table at a cool looking sea-food restaurant. We settled down on the pier and watched the tide coming in. There were a group of vile, screaming children. The kind where you wish an omnipotent giant thumb would come out of the sky and just squish them.

We moved over to the restaurant and had the most amazing prawns in oil for a starter. It was so simple and SO good. Lexy had seafood linguine for mains and I had mackerel, but the best was dessert. We both had issues picking what to have: Lexy was torn between sticky toffee pudding and creme brulee, I couldn't decide between the cheesecake and the Eton mess. We both, had both.

We both finished both. Try not to judge.

Best meal of my life.

We headed back on the tram and just as we pulled into our station we looked out over the land. It was flooded with water. Amazing what the tide can do.