Birthday Celebrations

Earlier this month was JJ's birthday and we were due to go out. However due to JJ being somewhat ill, we called it a night in instead which both I and Jenna were pretty pleased about. We chilled out all evening and just generally had a really nice time. I miss just hanging out with these guys, we always have so much fun. Times change though.

Southampton

I went to stay with the recently single Gif. Sex was on the table and we both knew it. We get on incredibly well. When I'm with him I always have so much fun. I also find him incredibly attractive: lean, tall, dark hair that always sits just right, full lips and such good cheekbones.

But it didn't quite work out like either of us had expected. I'm still not entirely sure what happened, but  I couldn't sleep with him. We kissed and my stomach dropped. I felt like I was committing to him. I guess I see him as a relationship guy and I just didn't know what to make of it. It just wasn't right. We stopped. It was pretty awkward.

That aside I had a good night out. watched a good episode of the moomins (trippy shit, that), obliterated a jar of gurkins, a watermelon and a packet of sugar puffs. I also did have fun. I didn't have quite the kind of fun that I'd expected to have, but I did have a great time with him. It's a damn shame though, because I still think he's absolutely gorgeous. Maybe sometime in the future, who knows?

A Moment

My lips touched her skin and my tongue ran across her collarbone. I grabbed hold of her skin with my teeth and bit down until she gasped. I want to know that she felt me.

Recent Events

Recent events have included a shopping trip with a very good friend of mine who bought me several earrings (all odds, about 20) which I now wear constantly. Except for at work, because they're funny about jewellery. Had drinks in town with the Scottish Racist, Sara, J, JJ, the friend who bought me earrings who I'm gonna call Jenna on here because I like the name alongside numerous other unnamed people. It was a good night. I bumped into some of the people from work which was pretty good. I terrified one because I have more than enough information to wreck his relationship and he knows it, which is normally fine, but this time he had his girlfriend with him. I was on my best behaviour. I worked my first night shift which I loved, the hours (10pm to 7am) suit me really well and I just generally enjoy eating between half 12 and half one and again at 3.30 in the morning. A new lesbian drama has started on BBC3 called Lip service, try and catch the first episode on iplayer, it aired last night and it is so, so sexy. I have done some (note, a very small amount) revision and had a meeting at school in regards to resits and  my future. I also went round Lucifers house early last week to try and figure out what to do in that regard. As in my future, because as it stands and as it has stood for quite some time, I actually hate German as a subject. I love the culture, the literature, the music, the people, and even the language, but actually learning it, makes me sick. At least I realised this now and not after I'd started doing German at university.

It does somehow put my plans into jeopardy a little. Short term I was doing a German resit (from which  I have withdrawn) and going to Germany over the winter, plans which have now changed to going to London. Nothing is finalised, but I am looking at rooms and will shortly be contacting work about a transfer to a London branch, any London branch. I know they won't be too hot on the idea, but at least they'd be keeping me within the business. When I was round Lucifer's we talked about travel and other courses. There aren't really any courses I want to do and travelling is a means of getting from A to B. It's not a voyage of self discovery, it's hassle. So that definitely wasn't for me. We did find some travel that appealed a little more than that, but when it came to it, I wasn't sure I really wanted it. Finally I've got a plan shaping up. If I can't get transferred with work I'll only stay in London for 3 months or so and then go visit people and get some temp work and go pride hopping, but if I get permanent work, I think I'll stay in London longer. I'll still visit people, but I'll have a London base. I'll still quit and go pride hopping over the summer. I might do a management degree, I might not, but I'll apply this year regardless.

So despite having something of a plan, it's still a little blurry round the edges. I don't always know what to make of it or where I'm going which is pretty unusual for me, but it's alright. I'm getting there.

A Week to Remember

Yesterday I got back from Cardiff where I'd been staying with Sara for a few days. I arrived at 7.30 on Wednesday and we had Burgerking for dinner. It was lovely. We went out with some of the LGBT representatives that night to a couple of the gay bars and clubs which was nice. It was Sara's freshers, so I let her get on with it and I made friends of my own. I danced and chatted and generally had a good night. We got in really early (like half one) because people had things to do. Sara got up at some stupid hour the next morning and spent almost 2 hours trying to wake me up. I slept until half 11. She left at half 9. Apparently she'd been shaking me violently, sending me texts, calling me, poking my face, pulling the duvet off me (I hit her when she did that) and all kinds. I had a lovely snooze.

We went to a society fair later that day and went shopping. Went to this wicked market and I brought  fruit (plums, nectarines, watermelon) and nuts. I'm a huge fan of nuts and we can't bring them home due to a severe allergy of the younger sibling, so whenever I'm away, I munch as many as I can. We also stopped at Ann Summers and I purchased a couple of products, which I'll review when I get a bit of time. That night we decided we were gonna stay in, but by 11, we'd changed our minds and went out. Turns out, gay scene in Cardiff is pretty non existent which wasn't what I'd expected. The city has 42 gay venues, but whatever. The following morning Sara spent an hour and a half trying to wake me. I'd set an alarm on my phone. She didn't wake me. The alarm did. Typical, right? Anyway, I hit the shops again, I'd got myself some clothes to customize, so I went to coffee shop and got on with the cutting. When I was done, I moved and sat over by the window. It was pissing it down and there were as many umbrellas as there were people. I grabbed a handful of napkins and started sketching. By the time Sara caught up with me, I'd drawn 20 odd umbrellas in various states of open and shut, and of various shapes. While I'd been drawing, I'd placed each used napkin next to me and I'd had several people come up to the window and just stare in at my "art." It passed the time just fine. Sara and I headed up to the second part of the society fair and the first thing we did was catch up with the LGBT group. I had acquired another Ann Summers bag and these people are like a magnet to it. One girl saw me, stopped dead and said "Ann Summers bag..?" and started day dreaming.

We took a look around the society fair (I scared the economists by turning their tame sex/econ jokes into something much more filthy) and headed home where I packed my stuff together and left for the train station, watermelon in tow. The last time I was at that train station I'd been travelling for 7 hours and I was talking to this gorgeous art girl, who was a little bit paranoid. As in, doesn't trust the bank and thus has no bank account. Yes, really. But like I said, gorgeous, so I'll overlook a minor flaw like severe paranoia. And it was nice to have some company, because I had travel from reasonably far up north. I'd been to see Alix.

I'd arrived on the Monday around midday and I met her family and some friends of hers. I'd (fairly arrogantly) assumed I wouldn't need pyjamas - I'm not a big fan at the best of times - turns out I was right. We basically didn't leave the bedroom. Except when we did it in the other bedroom, on the sofa or in the kitchen. The girl knows how to use her hands, she's fucking good. She made me louder than anyone else has. There were builders next door who actually stopped working each time we fucked and just listened in instead. It's a good thing I'm an exhibitionist. And not just because of the builders, one of her friends got very close to walking in on me, but mostly because I like giving things out a little rough. You know the kind of thing, nails down skin, fingers pulling stuck in hair, teeth biting. Hard. It makes me even hotter than vanilla, it's mostly a dominance thing, and as it happens Alix is more than happy to receive. She's also good for a bit of bondage, but we;re new to this, so I keep it strictly cuffs. Point is, by Monday 3am, she gave up sharing a bed with me (I'm space greedy and it was a single), but she was covered in bite marks and scratches all over the shoulders, chest and back. She carried it off so well too.

She also insisted on showing it off to every one we met. EVERY ONE includes friends, the pub landlord, the guys at her work, her brothers (yes really). The lot. She loved the shock on their faces, and the disbelief when they were told the cute, polite blonde girl had done it. And so did I. I loved that she was showing off my battle wounds, it gives me so much pleasure because I don't get battle wounds of my own. Nothing to show off, just stories to tell. Which isn't so bad either I suppose.

We went out to the pub both nights I was there and we did see friends, but those three days consisted almost entirely of hot, slightly filthy, really great sex. We have chemistry. I've already been told I'm welcome up any time I want. Which is a good invitation to have. And I do like to make sure I don't leave any part of me out of practice.

Vomit

I recently went out with a group of friends, two of whom I adore, the rest stir something between indifference and loathing inside me. I don't really feel it when they stir indifference. We started out in a club which I like a lot, but it was decided that this location was shit and should be exchanged for somewhere where you can't do a whole lot but drink. Which isn't that fun for me. I do on occasion drink, but I was starting work at 8 the next morning and wasn't really feeling it.

After what seemed like an eternity, I ditched them. I went back to the club on my own and they carried on drinking. Later they went to one of those clubs that's more  about fake tan, fake hair and fake eyelashes than anything else and all the girls spent the night fighting off ethnic minorities. I'm not sure why these guys are so much worse than white guys, but Indian guys in particular (despite the fact that they are probably fluent in English and most of them have probably never been out of the UK), just don't seem to grasp the meaning of 'no'. Or 'fuck off'. Or even the international sign language of that beautiful middle finger.

I had a wicked time. I felt the bass run in my blood and it shook me to the core. I love to let the rhythm take me. I did. I met some guys from work, I lost them, found them again. I made a few friends of my own. I was chatting to this girl with a raw red mohawk, ivory skin and an arm full of tattoos. I got a hell of a lesbian vibe from her, but I know in these kinds of clubs people can get really funny about these things if they're not actually gay. I left her be and saw her chatting to a guy with a black plug and blonde hair for quite a while. I caught him on the dance floor and asked him if she liked girls. I was informed that he had no idea because he'd only met her that night. I spotted another guy who she'd been chatting to. This time I was informed that she did like girls, but her girlfriend wouldn't appreciate me taking that any further. I left her alone. Later on a caught up with the guy with the black plugs. He seemed cool, we had a laugh.

I was dancing with some work friends when one of the aforementioned Indian guys came up to one of the girls from work and she attempted to get rid of him with aforementioned sign language. He didn't take a hint. I asked her (by which I mean I screamed into her ear because that's really all you can do in a club) if she wanted me to get rid of him. She did. I butched up to look as intimidating as possible (not easily achieved in a short dress and 6 inch heels) and sneered in his face to leave my fucking girlfriend alone or I'd make sure he'd have to crawl out of here. He took a hint. Albeit a blunt one. We carried on dancing until 3. I went outside and met 3 of the friends I'd ditched earlier to get a cab home.

We got in the cab and the shortest of the girls said she didn't feel very well. The taxi driver started panicking about his car, We rolled down the window. Suddenly one of the guys put his head out the window and threw up all down the side of the car. He pulled his head in and almost got it out in time to throw up again. Almost. We stopped and he threw up at the roadside. Nice. I was not impressed. The driver was being nice enough about it, but there was something about him I didn't like. Just trying too hard to be nice and good and honest, made me feel like he was nasty on the inside. We just about made it into our town when the girl in the middle leant out the window and threw up. She kept it outside the car. Her and the guy were going to the same place (they're a couple) and it was about 15 minutes walk away tops so they said they'd walk it, to make sure there was no more throwing up as far as the taxi was concerned. He handed me an extra tenner to cover the extra cost of the sick inside the car. We dropped the short girl off home, the driver tried giving me a lecture in regards to safety but I shut him up. We got back and I actually had an extra fiver, but as the driver made me wipe up the sick on the side of the back seat, I think that was a minimal fee. In fact I don't think it was enough.

I was at work the next day and the girl half of the upchuck couple came in to see me. I informed her of the throwing up business, more exactly the cleaning thereof. I told her the fiver was just the first instalment of debt he now owed me. I then told her that the next instalment would be for me to sleep with his girlfriend. I.e. her. She was shocked, but didn't argue and you never know what a little alcohol can do.

Yeah, I'm that bad.