Satisfaction

Last night I went out with family for a meal as a birthday (not mine)/ end of holiday celebration. It was really good. I got home and had one of those nights where you end up chatting to people for half the night and wanking yourself into oblivion for the rest. A night well spent.

Today I was meant to do work and while I did some, I didn't get as much done as I thought I would. All the same I'm left feeling quite satisfied and I have this feeling the later it gets, the more I'll get that filling satisfaction.

On the downside I have my first induction day (of two) tomorrow. I have been warned it will be dull. Best bring some Powerade.

Purity (the title is not related)

I am home. I have rearranged things on my desk. I have tidied my room. I have showered. I've made 3 new play lists. I've deleted old play lists. I've deleted two of the new play lists. I tidied my toolbox. I've doodled. I've read blogs. I'm talking about nothing on msn.

It's the height of procrastination. I am literally doing anything but work.

I should work.

Home

I am home. This makes me very sad. I want to surf. More than anything out there I want to surf. Instead I'm in my messy room, knowing I should be doing work. I'm also extrodinarily horny. It's really not fair, the day I come home Sara goes on holiday. It's not like I haven't tried to stop all this horny madness, but tonight it's just not working. I don't know why not. I can only keep trying.

I so desperatly want to surf that I may just go cable wakeboarding, it's the nearest I can get. I'll go for a intro course £45 (you get 3 hours on the water; board, wetsuit, helmet and life vest hire included as well as a tutor to take you through things). Anyone want to join me?

Other plan making includes this holiday malarky, we are both free after the 21st May 2010, and our accomodation (7 nights) and lessons (6) comes to £245 each, so all we have to do now is get paid and book it. I'm very excited.

I'm also forever making adjustments to my calculations for uni and planning my stay.

At the end of November, parents are taking children and a +1 to CenterParcs for 5 days to enjoy the pool and some time off school. It'll be wonderful. I'm taking Sara. 4 days in the same bed as her, I'll be too tired for the pool. Almost.

But above all else. I'm horny and I want to surf.

Been Quiet

It's been a while. The last few days have been busy, mostly full of fighting. One can only live in a cardboard box with relatives for so long. I also aquired a long wet-suit (toasty), ate alot, surfed alot (I got 42 hours of community hours all together from 18 hours of surf lessons and an estimate of practice - I actually cut it down abit), dreamt alot (something about the mattress I think), started organising a week surfing next year with Lexy. I don't ache at all. It's nice.

I'm pretty stressed out, I know I wont get all my work done. My essay is nowhere near done, I still have loads to do on my maths and I haven't touched German, TOK, English or economics. I want to get the German and maths done and finish the book for the essay. By Wednesday night.

Unlikely methinks.

Post Climax Ecstasy

22nd August – 23:11 I find, that right after I climax even though my limbs feel like jelly, my imagination is on fire with all the things I didn’t get to include first time round. Tonight is no exception.

She sits and watches me. My face gives nothing away. I walk over and lean forward as I straddle her. I tower above her and I look down at her face; her blue eyes sparkle at me. Softly, I trail my fingers through her fringe and my hand rests at the nape of her neck. I push my face down towards hers, noses almost touching; her face tilts her lips closer to mine. Her hot breath on my skin, I pull away and look at her. My hand unleashes and grabs a handful hair, jerking her head back. Her pupils contract from the impact and as they focus, she sees me grinning down at her. My mouth takes control: hard kisses, my tongue pushes through her lips; she moans quietly. My hand frees her hair and softly caresses her neck. Quickly my hands undo her shirt, fingers grasping greedily at the rough material of her bra. Pushing her back onto the cool bed covers, my mouth presses against her silky neck, my lips nip at her skin and my teeth bite. We both know I will leave tiny bruises all over her as injuries of pleasure. My thumbs slide under her bra and softly stroke the petal soft skin of her nipples. My hands do the rough preparation and my mouth ravages her. Her neck, the curve of her breast, her small, hard nipples; nothing is left unexplored. My mouth will not stop until I know every surface and texture of her body. My tongue is greedy for rekindling known flavours and discovering new ones. I want to devour her until her world crashes.

Other things that happen right after I climax:
I get so dizzy I feel ready to pass out
I have to take time to catch my breath
I have deep nail marks from where I forgot to let go
I get so I tired the only thing I can do is sleep
…unless I can get myself off again (and I very often can)

Weightloss

22nd August – 17:56 I have discovered that due to doing any actual exercise for the first time this year I have lost weight. This would be fine at any other time, just strap on a belt and get on with life, but here my wetsuit doesn’t fit anymore, so it doesn’t keep me warm. This makes me sad. And cold. A lot more cold than sad, really.

Family and Temper Tantrums

21st August – 22:37 yesterday we ventured into St Ives. It was a day of bad service. We sat down in a restaurant and asked for a table of 5, but they only had for four said they’d move things around. My mum decided to move a table up to be helpful, the waitress came up and said, “What have you done? I told you to wait!” She then proceeded to move the table back and have us squish onto a small table. Another waitress then served us the wrong drinks and claimed it was our fault. We complained to the owner. She got bollocked. I normally hate customers like that, but if a customer says something is wrong you offer to change it and apologize whatever you believe.

Later I was in a shop, about to pay, when I said to the man, “sorry, I’m a bit short on change…”
“Short on change or money?” he sneered.
I looked at him, pulled out a twenty, slammed it on the desk and said, “Change.”
I death stared him into a hell of his own making.

Aside from that it was a lovely day out with great weather and I got a couple of things which is always nice. On the other end of the scale, today I didn’t leave the caravan. During the morning I ate breakfast, washed up, and made a cake while the family went out body boarding. They came home, we ate lunch and the cake I’d made, I washed up, I did maths work, they went out to a shop, they went body boarding, and I did more work. We had dinner, and more cake. I washed up (it was my day to wash up) and did more work.

So in total today I did a fair bit of work, ate over a third of a dinner plate sized cake by myself (three layers too), and learnt something about both my siblings:

The youngest sibling thinks that dry entails walking across the carpet, her legs dripping patterns. The older sibling used to think that black people (is that still PC?) were actually just very tanned and had white babies who tanned with age. She is humiliated that she thought this.

Speaking of family, you know those stories that your parents tell you? The ones from their childhood that they think are funny. My mum has one that I’ve been hearing since I was a kid and recently she decided to drop in a new fact: she shagged the guy she’s been talking about. And now I know why she remembers that story so well.

In other news, I lost my temper majorly today. These days I keep my temper very much at bay, but today my mouse froze, so I slammed my laptop shut, hurled it across the sofa and screamed at it. It took some very angry music (I find it calms me) and a good 10 minutes before I stopped shaking with fury.

Nipples - Part Two

20th August – 23:20 I have my nipples back for a few days. It’s nice. Incidentally the Neutrogena Wave covers them perfectly one at a time. Now don’t pretend you’re not going to look up the size of it, because you are at the very least a little curious.

Rain

20th August – 4:32 have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and even though you know its ridiculous, you feel as if you haven’t slept at all? That’s how I feel. Awake. I went and got myself a glass of ice and water even though I know it would make me cold. The wind is howling and hurling water up on the window, but only on one side: my side. I’m looking out through the tear-blurred window. It feels like the sea is being thrown up against the side of our caravan, but we’re about 50m walk and a half a mile drop away from the sea. I love the sea at night: it’s black and bottomless; imposing. Some nights I would walk out just to admire it: backing down to no one, wearing away the world to make space for itself. I’m not going out tonight. The wind is much too strong: I can hear cans flying around and hitting the ground, out of beat with the rest of the sounds. I can make out object being thrown against the side of the caravans. It’s raining so hard that it’s all I can hear. The sky is ripples of colours, dark and light, dark and light. It’s so loud. I can hear someone else is awake in the caravan. Despite all the natural beauty, the fury of the outside world, all I can think is: I’m so fucking glad I’m not in a tent tonight.

Toast

19th August – 18:03 my God I feel like shit. The family thinks I’ve overworked poor body with all the exercise. They’re probably right. Obviously I ache all over, but I’ve also bruised one thumb, blistered the other and cut my wrist. My head aches and every time I eat or drink I feel like I’m about to throw up. I’ve had an apple and a slice of carrot cake all day. I was fine until I got out the water, since then my temperature has been jumping all over and everything on me is salty: my skin, my nails, my sweat, my spit, even my cum. My tongue is raw from all the salt and sand, my hair is a dry mass on the top of my head and my face is red and puffy. I feel like toast: underappreciated and overcooked. I’m having toast for dinner.

Nipples

Due to a horrific combination of cold air and water, stiff nipples and grains of sand I'm wearing plasters over my nipples for the third day running. The same plasters. I have not seen my nipples in over 3 days. I miss them.

Whenever I look down I feel like a person with no belly button - it's not the end of the world, but something is missing. Except I feel it twice.

The thing Im getting at is that guys may suffer from "shrinkage" when in cold water, but that will swell back up size. I may not see my nipples for a week and a half yet. I feel cheated.

Couple Crush

18th August – 20:05 I have a couple crush. It’s been literally years since I had my last couple crush. You know the ones I mean, where you fancy a couple and whether you just fancy both halves or if you’re desperate for a threesome. These guys are gorgeous. The guy is built like a rugby player with very short dark hair and dark eyes. He’s friendly and a natural at surfing. His girlfriend has short black hair (a few inches long at the most), shimmering blue eyes and red lips. She’s slim and they’re both tall. The guy likes me enough to flirt with me; the girl likes me enough to not mind. I only started talking to him to find out about her. At the time I thought it was his sister (they both have dark hair). They are now constantly playing on my mind. I would love to have a threesome. In general I think any combination (aside from 3 guys – I don’t think I’d “fit” anywhere) of threesomes a hot, but when the couple is this good looking… it could get anyone interested.

I’m just desperate to feel hot skin against mine, my hand in her hair, the other running over his. His warm lips on my neck and her tongue dancing with mine. My mouth on his chest, her lips making my nipple tingle. Sweat trickles down her spine, her neck arching in pleasure. I look at her and instantly we know: my hands and mouth explore his chest, she does the same. As her hand runs along his neck and shoulder, my finger traces the trail of hair on his stomach and we kiss. Her lips softly caress mine and the rough texture of her tongue runs across my teeth. My fingers tease his growing cock and he tugs on my hair. Her tongue is the foreplay to a kiss on my silky skin. Her blue eyes shimmer and her lips part. Her full lips wrap around the head of his cock and his pupils dilate as he gasps in pleasure. Her tongue runs down the shaft and up again, merely teasing. She gives him her whole mouth and her fingers run up his thighs. My hands run over her slim hips and I softly kiss her spine, watching her skin react to my touch. I let my tongue dash over her clit and snake inside her. She tastes somewhere between sweet and salty – there’s no other flavour quite like it. My mouth works away until it makes me dizzy. I can see him watching me, her mouth pushing him closer and closer to the edge, and her nails digging into his thighs. She’s moaning softly and I know it’s sending vibrations through him. Her whole body is shaking, panting, nothing but heat and sounds, everything spins, and the room is dizzy. His hand pulls on my hair hard and I gasp.

And that’s the beauty of fantasy, it’ll never be better than in my head.

Alternative Sleeping Arrangements

17th August – 9:20 further disagreements with the bed led to alternative sleeping arrangements. By which I mean removing the bed frame. Last night was spent knocking my knees, elbows, head and feet against walls and cupboard to get away from the edge of the bed (call it an instinctive fear of falling out of bed again). Anyway, I feel gross because we’re going surfing in less than an hour, so there’s no point in having a shower. Thing is I can’t really function without a shower. Fuck it, I’m going to have to shower (if I don’t I wont let anyone touch me and I remain very moody until I get one – it has to be a shower, the sea or a bath won’t do the trick).

Neutrogena Wave Vibrator

16th August – 21:21 Here I am again. People watching in the café, if nothing else it passes the time. I got the Neutrogena Wave; I coughed up £12.87 which isn’t bad for high street sex toy. I decided I’d better give it a fair test, and so, before anything I tried the little fucker anywhere else. It did absolutely nothing, which proves nothing except that they know nothing about multi-tasking products and it really is designed for something else. Let me paint you a picture: palm sized smooth white object. It takes one AA battery (included) and has a pink grip for “easy precision” and a simple on/off button. The instructions mention that it is waterproof (recommends shower use) and it comes with a 2 year guarantee. When you hit the on switch you get some strong vibrations coming through the flat base. The base has some small hooks on (to grip the little soapy pads), but they’re so small that on your skin they just hold it in place. It has strong vibrations and I would definitely recommend it, particularly for beginners. Unless you follow the example of Samantha of Sex and the City (and use an electric back massager) I would find it hard to get a more innocent looking sex toy. Apart from maybe using those electric toothbrush covers (yes, really).

In other news: my arms feel like jelly from all the body boarding we’ve been doing (I legs like thunder, arms like toothpicks – they look useless and mostly, they are), but I’ve been eating plenty of shit to make up for it. I’m also buzzing on caffeine and I’m still fairly fresh from a nap I had earlier. Have been getting some work done, but our schedule is fairly non-stop and without internet I can’t do half it. And a note to all of you, hard sand covered nipples hurt a lot. I’m testing for solutions.

Finally, due to Thin Walls Syndrome (TWS), I’m hornier than ever. I will use this in a positive way. First up it means excess energy I can use in the water, but more importantly it means erotica.

You glance at me across the room. We both know what that look means: I want you. You eyes shimmer and your hand moves to your drink. You shut your eyes for a moment and when you open them again I’m standing in front of you. Your eyes drag greedily up my body, from my legs to my smile. Your hand slips up the back of my thigh as you pull me closer to you. Slowly, I raise one eyebrow at you and I pull you away by the hand. We walk into the cool night air, away from the crowds into the silence. The music is only a dull thud of base now. My grip tightens. I push you into the wall and just look at your face for a moment. Shocks run through your body when my lips touch yours and I can taste the bitter flavour of alcohol on your tongue. You pull back for a moment, your forehead resting on mine, panting. You look into my eyes; a glint appears in yours. In one swift move you slam me against the wall, your weight pushing into me: I become your victim. You kiss me, hard. You force your weight on me, I can hardly breathe. My head spins; it feels good. You’ve grabbed my hands and pinned them above your head, I struggle against you as you steal kisses from my lips. My tongue playfully find yours and they twist, feeling every inch of texture against each other. Your other hand easily undoes my jeans and you slide your finger inside me, pulling out only to cover my clit in my own hot cum. My soft moans break the silence. Instinctively I push my body against yours and as you free my arms, one runs along your back pulling you closer, the other grabbing the roots of your hair and pulling your head back. You look at me, and as your thumb brushes my clit, my face softens into a moan and my grip loosens. You kiss me in the dark of night.

Cold

16th August – 10:06 We’ll be going in the sea again soon. We’re taking the body boards out. It’s not exactly a challenge, but it is great fun. Last night I had a minor disagreement with my bed. First up the room was freezing, so even though I had the window shut, had the heater on, pyjamas on, slippers on and a hoodie, plus obviously a duvet. It was ridiculous. So not only was I freezing at 1 I fell out of bed. It hurt. I then clambered off my cold floor onto my cold, narrow bed. I woke up all the way through the night. I woke up at 8 and just gave up on sleeping and had a hot shower. It was fantastic… until someone switched the hot tap on cutting off my hot water supply. Nice.

Facial Cleansing through Thin Walls

15th August – 23:32 This is the problem with caravans: thin walls. I can hear everyone else’s conversations and I’ve got my iPod plugged in. I can’t possibly do what I want to myself when the walls are this thin. I knew they’d be thin, which is why I didn’t bring a vibe, but I didn’t expect to be able to hear breathing. I may have to buy one of those Neutrogena Wave machines and get very excited about facial cleansing late every night.

Now I’m sorry to ask, but would a single female creature actually use that for anything near your face? It’s nothing more than a clit massager that shares its name with a rampant rabbit. It’s not even original.

As I kneel on a bed that feels about 10 inches wide (so really not fuck-friendly – which is something else I want to bring up), I taunt myself with things I want and can’t have. I leave my pussy throbbing and my knickers soaked with the deliciously dirty thoughts. The kind you only think up in the dark of night and you don’t share with anyone. Not even your followers on Blogger. At least not tonight.

Recently I have been looking at university accommodation and most of the cheaper ones have extremely narrow beds. Uni is often the first time you really get away from your parents and you can let out your truly filthy side and fuck whatever you like. But you’re going to have to get inventive about location because your room can barely contain your clothes (which is why you keep all your books outside in the skip), let alone another person. If you’re desperate to fuck on the bed, then God help you. You’re stuck with missionary since any other positions requires at least 3 inches more width. Of course missionary can be great (if you do it properly: lads, women are not a replacement for a hand, sex is not masturbation into a wetter hole), but you have to go easy because the pile of shit furniture will fall apart with more than a little pressure on it. Again, you’re stuck with thin walls, so when your bed creaks (and it will) all the people you who steal your food (also known as communal kitchen buddies) will know whenever you get lucky. Which might be fine, or it could get you a reputation. If you don’t fancy that, fuck at their place and pray it’s not the same building as your cousin (family reunion will be awkward) or shag behind the bike sheds.

Toes in the Sand

15th August - 21:57 Depending on how dodgy the connection is over the next two weeks decides when these blogs will be posted. I’m sitting in a noisy, but large “conservatory” café. There are 40 or 50 people around, but it’s not crowded. People I’m paying special attention to are the guy with the bad haircut playing table tennis. His hair keeps flicking in his eyes and he has to do a very feminine hair flick to get it out his eyes. He’s loosing pretty badly because of it. A boy of about 14 is sitting in a red hoodie that says “Lifeguard: Babe watch division” on the back. I think I should get one. There is nothing like subtle provocation. I can see it now: “oh is that your boyfriend’s hoodie?” “No this is how I met my girlfriend.” It would be a lie well worth telling. There are children running topless and barefoot. One child just tried to drink from a can and it squirted out her nose. I know it’s mean to laugh, but I laughed. Out loud. I’m sitting alone, and I laughed out loud, so when I got angry looks from the parents I couldn’t even pass it off as someone else’s joke. There is a 20-something girl with an abomination of a bleach blonde hair cut. There’s a girl sitting a few tables away from me, facing me. At least I think it’s a girl, it may be an emo boy. There are also a lot of tired looking mum-types and slightly tipsy dad-types.

Last night I shared a room. Due to my slightly off sleeping pattern (sleep around 2, up around 9, nap between 2 and 4) I’m not very good at sharing a room. I tried my best, I listened to my iPod until she fell asleep, then got up and tidied up, packed my things together, got the next days clothes out, read by the light of my iPod, listened to music until 1-ish. It was all fine until I started singing along to my music. And playing air guitar. She woke up and looked at me standing on my bed, an imaginary guitar in hand and making up the words to songs (I can’t remember lyrics as words, more sounds, so I sound like my mouths been numbed when I try to sing. She got back to sleep, I slept for around 4 and half hours which was ok. We finally made it to St. Ives and got everything into the mobile home we’ve rented (I will call it a caravan).

I have the best deal out of everyone. I have a twin room to myself, so I’ve folded up the bed and am using it as a shelf. This also means more floor space, but I’ll be honest, the caravan smells a little funky, so I’ll probably be spending a lot of time in this café. Of course you may realise that the caravan being a little smelly is merely a metaphor for my family driving me up the wall in large doses. We did go on the beach this evening, even got in the water for a bit. It was a decent temperature.

Must remember to get work done… wouldn’t do to turn up in September and be like, “so… About that essay/coursework/homework/holiday reading, yeah, I didn’t do it. But I did go surfing a lot, so that got to be character building, right?”

Old People

We are currently visiting relatives (we're not the kind of family who can take more than 3 hours in a car together at a time, so we plan our journey with nice gaps for food). This gap involved me eating runner beans. That's not something I do.

So we're staying with aforementioned relatives, who I have been asked not to tell about Sara and I because it is believed they couldn't take it. For the last year I've seen them once. Today. I think I'll live, but it does always bring that awkward conversation up:

"So dear, how have you been?"
"Good, busy, lots of school work."
"Ohh... And do you have a boyfriend?"
"Err, no I don't... Funny that..."
"What a lovely smart girl like you? Oh well, maybe they don't like your hair."

Was that strictly necessary? What if I had been some single girl, maybe recently dumped, sore about being alone and they decided to insult my appearance? Old people are tactless. My youngest sibling recently had her ears pierced and showed it to her nan.
The response?
"Ohh... dear..."

Why would you do that? If there are any old people (or people with an old persons perspective), tell me that. WHY?

Holiday

We're about to leave for Cornwall. We're going surfing. I'm really looking forward to it, but I may or may not have Internet. I'm screwed if i don't though. Have a good two weeks without me x

Coming Out

Everyone I know (bar far away relatives) knows that I'm bisexual and that I'm going out with Sara. Everyone except my youngest sibling.

My other sibling (also younger) reacted like this:
"Could you turn the tv off a sec?"
*turns off tv*
"What?"
"I'm seeing someone. A girl someone."
"Ok."
*turns tv back on*

However, my youngest sibling was sitting on my bed.
"Sara's a lesbian."
"REALLY? ...are you?"
"erm... no..."
"oh" *look of disappointment*
"I am bisexual."
"cool."
"...and Sara's my girlfriend."
"awesome."
*grabs one of my (many) cushions*
"squishies gay"
*grabs another similar cushion*
"So's this one... they're married"

Of all the reactions I've had, this one is my favourite.

Hangover

Last night I did a stupid thing. I wrote 3,000 words on an essay with a 4,000 word limit. This is bad because I only have half the body of the essay. I still have the other book to write about, my introduction, my conclusion, my abstract, footnotes, end notes, general notes and God knows what else.

Now how did I manage to write 3,000 words in a space with less than 31 hours with 11 hours sleep?

Caffeine. I drank well over a liter and a half of coke and so even though I finished the essay at 3, I was up until 5.30. I cleaned my room. Then messed it up so I could clean it again, I read a newspaper, I did some sudukos, played noughts and crosses against myself, didn't always win... That's quite impressive.

Trouble is, the caffeine is killing me. I've got a hangover from it: I feel dizzy, sick, dehydrated, disorientated, my head is throbbing... I generally feel like I've been run over with a train. See I very rarely drink and this is the main reason. That and the control freak thing.

Well you know, power on (but slowly so I don't throw up), there's plenty more homework to do, best get typing.

Sport and Essays

Turns out, writing an essay on a book you haven't read... Not that easy. I'm almost halfway and I'll stay up until I'm done, unless I fall asleep. I've also given myself repetitive motion strain in my shoulders from sitting at my computer so much. It hurts, and my mother now thinks I should do more excercise, because I have bags of spare time obviously! She suggested I get up early and go before school. At the moment I get 4-6 hours sleep, getting up an hour early might just kill me. All I actually need is a proper chair.

Tupsy Turvy

I've decided to read the second book that I'm writing a 4,000 word essay on later and write the essay now. I've managed 500 words in the last hour (and a 3 page essay plan), so I might not fail just yet. At least not because of this. There are plenty of other reasons I might fail.

In Other News

Yesterday Sara napped on me. I stayed awake. She napped for a full 10 minutes. I'm really very proud.

When you say you will call at 1.30, call at 1.30, do not call at 4.30 and say it's been manic. Manic is not an excuse for me not getting a proper lunch.

I am getting closer and closer to failing my course. How fun.

A Naked World Would Be A Better World

Clothes are just bloody inconvenient. I mean not only will people always judge you depending on what you wear, they're expensive, and you have to new ones whenever you grow or wear them out. Not exactly cost efficient. People might feel a bit more confident if they got to look at everyone else's lumps and bumps every day. You wouldn't be able to flash people accidentally if you were already naked, and clearly nudity aids conversation. But the main reason that clothes are ridiculous is that they just get in the way when you're trying to have... fun. You know what I mean.

I honestly think if we all walked around starkers, we'd all be a lot more horny and a lot more accepting of each other. More to the point, people would be so busy fucking, they wouldn't have time to start wars. However, it just so happens that today, someones clothes got very much in my way. And if I'm honest, theirs too.

As the kisses got deeper and faster and lust took over, my hands ran over your shoulders. I was desperate for skin contact and my mouth found your neck. Lips are greedy, stealing half kisses from your smooth, delicate skin. Your breathing speeds up, turns to panting. The faster you pant the more force my lips have on your soft neck, your defined collar bone and the beautiful curve of your breast. Your breathing is almost moaning now, my hands are cupping your breasts and massaging them. Your breathy moans are in time to my kisses and the movement of my hands. My nose pushes your collar out the way, I want my mouth on your nipples, your top doesn't stretch and I'm restricted to your bra. You're groaning so fast you're hardly breathing. Small, shallow gasps escape your lips. My hand slips under your top and gently brushes against your nipple. Your pale skin is on fire, you can't keep up with your own breath, your back arching, exposing your neck. My tongue brushes playfully on your skin, you grind against my leg, I grind back. My other hand plays with your hair. Your fingers dig into my skin hard, nails dragging lines into my shirt. I kiss you until the room is spinning.

You carry on panting for at least a minute after. Imagine what we could have done without the restriction of clothes.

Stripping

I flashed the bar manager. He works nights, really lovely guy, but I don't know him all that well, ergo conversation was a little limited, so I figured I'd flash him.

It wasn't quite like that, but if you remember this it was very similar. I go to get changed, we're chatting, and I take off my strappy top, he stops mid-sentence. Coughs. Turns around and carries on talking. As I start saying something, out of politeness, I turn to look at him. Turns out he did the same thing. He froze, the blood drained from his face and he whipped back around. I carried on talking. After I'd fully dressed myself, we kept chatting, conversation now flowing easily. I would say I'm surprised, but really, I've come to expect it these days. Once you strip, the conversation is always easier.

Job

I got the job. Come September I'll be working Saturday and Sunday every weekend. It's going to be a lot of work, but it means I might just be able to get through the first year without touching my maintenance fee. It also means I'll be saying goodbye to my (already minimal) spare time for at least 4 months. Not a huge loss, I'll find other times to get off in.

Yesterday in London I bought a dress. It paid for itself. London was humid so I changed into the dress and the looks I got varied between "oh my God, what did she do?" and "oh my God, gotta have me some of that." 3 guys tried chatting me up. One suddenly noticed my pride bracelet, stared at the bracelet, looked at me and the conversation went something like this:

"oh, erm...Is that..? So.. Are you... ? Right... I erm... I'd better... So.. yeah." This was accompanied with pointing at me, him, the bracelet and our general surroundings. The look on his face was priceless.

Rare Hope

I do have a reason for being up at this rather absurd hour. Today I'm going shopping in London with my mum. As I tell friends, I'm this rare breed of teenager who doesn't hate her parents, siblings or the world. Anyway, while I go and spend a ridiculous amount of money on things I really don't need, you all have a lovely day.

Maybe I can buy underwear and bras.

Interview

I think my interview went well. They called me an hour and 15 after I'd left because the woman she thought would be good to supervise me is going on holiday soon, so I had my second interview today too. Not bad going. I got on much better with the supervisor woman than with the human resources woman. Because she was a bitch. She didn't know the course i was doing and when I tried to explain what you do (6 subjects, with english, maths, a science and a foreign language compulsary) and that we have to do community service. She freaked. When I told her I wanted to keep my other job until christmas I think she had a minor stroke. Still I must have done something right.

I don't think it was awful at any rate, but it wasn't the job I applied for, so if I get it I'll be working all weekend. 10 hours Saturday and 9 hours Sunday. I could use £90 a week... Fingers crossed.

And Just To Say

A more general note, I have my interview tomorrow. I could really use the money, so I hope get it. Also good luck to Lexy and Saboo and anyone else who needs it.

What You Want

If I was there my mouth would slowly kiss your delicate skin, starting at the underside of the knee. On the really delicate skin my moist lips gently nip at you sending tingling sensations all the way up your leg. Slowly my lips kiss the inside of your thigh and you know it tickles, but you're too distracted to really notice much at all. A little bit at a time, I move up your leg; my tongue teasing your skin and the only thing you feel is the blood pulsing through you. You can feel the pumping sensations with every touch and the higher up your leg I get the more sensitive the skin is. My fingers trace out the path where my mouth will touch you. I can hear you, your breath is speeding up as my mouth touches the very top of your leg. You squirm a little from the anticipation. My finger runs down the center of your underwear very gently; anywhere else, you'd hardly feel it but here, its like an explosion just hit you. My index fingers gently run down the side of your thighs and I softly kiss the material so you can feel my lips on yours. You can hardly breathe.

My fingers run down the side of your underwear skimming your skin ever so softly. I can hear you moan a little, a tiny shaky moan, you have no chance of controlling your breath. I peel away your soaked underwear. You've been wanting this for a long time. I stop and admire your beautiful body. My middle finger traces the line from your belly button to your lips and I let my hand rest on top of your pubic bone. As I turn my head slightly my hair tickles your leg, but you really don't notice this time because my tongue glides softly across your clit. Very gently I kiss it, the tip of my tongue lightly plays with it. I run my finger across your hot, wet clit and you gasp, hard. Softly my tongue strokes you, before moving down and letting the tip of my tongue swirl in your cum. Very gently the tip snakes inside you. Only for a brief moment. I use my tongue on your clit, I can hear you moaning. Your fingers dig into the sheet before grabbing hold of my hair and wrapping your fingers round the short strands. In time to running my tongue down your clit, one of my fingers trails in your hot cum and very gently slips inside you: you gasp. You pull on my hair and I gently moan. The vibrations from my mouth are all yours. You're shaking, more than shaking, your body is releasing the pleasure in tiny spasms. With each one you gasp and with each gasp you get louder. You cant form words, but the noises are beautiful. All the while my tongue is giving you some of the best sensations you could wish for and my finger is gently exploring you. Feeling the soft, smooth skin inside you, the slightly ribbed contours further in. I can feel you loosing control, the muscles are clamping down on me, your breath is getting faster and faster. You don't notice but you're pulling my hair harder than you mean to. I like it. I softly moan sending even more vibrations through you until you clamp down on my finger, your whole body tenses and arches and you release one final breath before you collapse in a dizzy bliss.

Go on, deny it.

Foursome

Four people, no clothes, one camera, endless combinations.

That's some quality amateur porn right there.

I'm only bringing this up because apparently people are thinking that Sara and I are having regular orgies with my very good friends James and Lexy. It's an interesting theory.

I'm going to give that some real good thought... I can see why people would assume that. It's rare for people to be as frank as I am with James when they're not fucking, but I am generally a very frank person. Obviously Sara and I get plenty of attention, we are undeniably a couple. As are James and Lexy, they frequently interrupt a conversation by playing tonsil tennis. It's fairly antisocial, but it's fine. I'm very close to Lexy and we have been known to straddle each other, grope each other, lick each other, lie in one anothers boobs and have easily 3 hours on the phone to each other each night. Sara and James are great friends too, and hug* at least 500 times a day. It's very cute. Lexy and Sara are also getting very close.

Can't say I'm surprised that people made assumptions.

*Hug - James pounces on Sara and strangles her stomach until she can shake him off

Uni Prep

More uni preparation. Looking at how much I can earn before I go. Turns out, a fair bit. I will hardly need to touch my maintenance loan for accommodation and I plan to live on my wages as far as food is concerned. I will literally pay my own way through uni. I will work for all the money I use apart from tuition fees where I'll have to use a loan. I've picked my accommodation. It's one of the most expensive ones, but I can afford to do it, if I get the other job. If not, I can still afford it, but not to the same extent. There will be a little more debt involved, but nothing I couldn't pay off within a few months on a waitress wage, whilst still surviving on it. Not bad going.

Mood Swings

Soft skin against mine. Her skin smells like a hot, stale day makes you feel when you take the first gulp of an ice cold drink. Amazing. I gently kiss the nape of her neck. My hand runs up the back of her head; fingers intertwined with her soft hair. Her eyes are shut. I look at her eyelashes, so close to her face I can feel the heat radiating off her skin. Her eyes flutter open. She focuses on me, smiles. I grin.

My fist tightens around her hair, her head jerks back. Her eyes snap shut, her mouth drops open, but only to release an involuntary gasp. When she does that she is my beautiful plaything, just for that second. Then she struggles. Her body pushes forward, but I still have her hair and she snaps back like an elastic band. My beautiful plaything.

I look at her, she shudders and stops struggling. I watch her throat as the swallows and her mouth as she licks her lips.

"Be good."

She looks straight into my eyes; I see fear and anticipation. Her eyes are alight. I run my tongue across her top lip. I can feel her body melting. I bite her bottom lip. She releases her breath ever so slowly, pushing her chin forward in hope of more. I look at her until her face bows down and her gaze drops.

My hot mouth and her wet lips are united in an instant, my tongue explores hers. Her body pulls into mine, my hand pulls her closer by the small of her back. The pressure from her belt feels good. A deep desire blurs my memory. I know it was good.

(P.S. check erotica for the 100th because I finally updated it)

Planning for the Future

This week work was better. Much better. My new boss is no longer in the abusive relationship. For now. It didn't last very long last time. Or the time before. Point is, work was better.

All the same, I'm applying for the other job. I'm off the book at my current job and the shifts don't cross over, so I could have both for a while, earn some money, put all but £10 a week into an account for uni. I might not even need £10 if I'm working a few weeknights. Even if I spend £10, that's still £70 a week. That's roughly £280 a month. That would be very helpful actually. If I did that until christmas, I could earn £1,120, plus the potential job gives a bonus.

Let's hope I get the job.

Another Day

So much work.

It's unreal.